[he doesn't know jack shit. and he almost tells him so, but he's too tired for that too.
gently letting kisara down on the floor and shooing her away -- she obeys without complaint -- he turns only his head to leer at tech over his shoulder. so needy, so clingy, almost from the start. he doesn't trust it, the claims that he cared. he suspects it only extends as far as his own welfare, chasing some fleeting high. just like one of his drugs.
not that he could blame him. in this place, getting by however you could meant doing whatever you could for as long as your sentence might last.]
Are we winning?
[a god from the dirt. what a wonderful parrot he was.]
We're still standing when this fucking place did its damnedest to tear us down. Isn't it winning?
[ He meets Kaiba's gaze, unflinching. Maybe this doesn't feel like a win. Maybe it only feels like a stalemate. But this place did it's best to break them both, and neither of them let it. It came hard. It came with everything and neither of them let it. They didn't escape unscathed, of course, but they're still standing.
And if Kaiba was wavering on that thought, Tech Boy wouldn't let him. He wouldn't let Kaiba lose. One loss is both of their losses -- at least from his perspective on this partnership. ]
What happens here and now is just a little time out. And you can be as pissed or upset or down as you want. I'm here to get you back in the game.
[kaiba just stares for a long, long moment, then says:]
You're pretty shitty at pep talks.
[which was the stone cold truth. effortlessly delivered by seto kaiba, once more.
but he does turn all the way over to face him. his eyes aren't quite as irritated as he might have expected; they're just dull, dreary. a deep, dark blue, as opposed to their usual hue, a much sharper sapphire. nor does he sound all that angry. just weary of wakefulness, roused from sleep too soon.]
Are you alright? Did you need me to look at anything?
[when in doubt, redirect. if in further doubt, redirect again. he'd rather not talk about himself. not this time.]
[ His arm loosens so Kaiba can easily turn and while he does, Tech Boy laughs, quiet and almost embarrassed. ]
Hey. Pep talks aren't meant to be my thing. That's all Media. But I'll give anything a try once where you're concerned.
[ Once Kaiba has resettled into his new position, Tech scoots closer to selfishly pull himself into his chest. ]
Sorry to say I'm still operating smoothly since the last time you tinkered. Nothing broken. You're too good at your work.
[ A light pat to Kaiba's chest. He settles for a moment in silence, contemplative. And then finally he speaks again. ]
Did I ever tell you I'm rooming with one of the guys Monika was also dating when we were together? I mean that part doesn't matter, but he's like this AI who thinks it's on him to 'fix the broken AI.' So like...
[ His grip tenses, a hint of anxiety. ]
I just have a feeling one of these days he's gonna try and kill me when he finds out what I did to her. I can probably stop him. If there's still tech in him, I can force stop his movements. But also it's like this clock ticking down on a bomb, you know? The whole situation's a fucking mess I wish I could just erase.
[ Eyes flicker toward Kaiba and he smiles with a bit of exhausted humor. ]
Can we just hurry up and find our way out of here, already?
[oh. cool. hugging is happening. definitely down for that. no problems there.
kaiba doesn't resist, though. as usual, tech gets his way, by virtue of being a big baby. operating smoothly, of course, except for the part where he was the most emotionally unstable individual he had met outside his own deceased brother. tech pats him, he pats back. really, what else could he do at this point? they sure were stuck with each other.
well, he can at least veto any monika discussion. not in his house, nor sir.]
I don't care about your boy troubles, Tech. Tell someone else.
[he dug his own grave. or her own grave. whatever. he waves it aside.]
But I will find a way out. It just might not be for both of us.
[ It's a disappointing response. One that should have been expected, but one that still hurts to hear. For as much as he knows what Kaiba has promised from the beginning -- that he's only out for himself here -- somewhere along the way Tech got some stupid hope that for as much as he has Kaiba's back, Kaiba might return the favor. As an investment or a part of their partnership at the least.
His eyes lower, but he swallows it back ultimately. It's just the way it goes and it doesn't do anyone any good to hope for something better. ]
A bridge we'll cross when we get there, I guess. I mean, it's more important you get out of here anyway.
[ His head withers to listen to the steady drum of Kaiba's heartbeat. It's easier to stomach his disappointment if he doesn't make eye contact. ]
because honestly, tech doesn't need to say a word for him to just know he's sulking about something. and he's the something, in this particular case. he's dealt with younger siblings; he knows how they tend to pout. it calls into question tech being older in any sense of the word. or being any more mature, when he continually pulls stunts like this.
so he reaches down and takes hold of his chin. firmly, but not harshly. more of a now you listen to me sort of grip.]
Do I need to rewire you? Make you less clingy, maybe?
[as if that were even possible. well, at least tech has his attention.]
I don't hate you, you moron. I don't even dislike you. So quit acting like I'm throwing you out like trash.
[ It's just this special Seto Kaiba talent apparently to know when something's amiss even when Tech tries to not bring it up. One of those things Tech both hates and likes about the guy. His head lifts because it's forced to -- and he really doesn't want to chance what those claws can do if he resists, but his eyes linger elsewhere. ]
That's not the issue, dude.
[ Although it's nice to hear that confirmation. 'I don't even dislike you' could be translated to 'I like you.' It's a clear step up from where they were a month ago. ]
I just wanted to think for as much as you've invested in me, you'd find a way to get me out with you and we'd find that solution together.
[ He shrugs. ]
I know. It's stupid. And it's not like I'm gonna blame you for taking any way out you can get, but...
[ He hadn't really thought about it up until now. He assumed there would be some portal or something they'd step through and it'd bring them to either of their worlds. Something like the backstage gods could travel through in his world. But now that Kaiba has asked that question, he realizes it's hit on something he has subconsciously wanted all along -- something that bled through into his words. He does want to tie his fate to Seto Kaiba, long after they serve their sentence here. ]
You are brilliance, innovation, everything I've searched for in my world. You're only eighteen and you surpassed everything my creator has done with his whole fucking life. Of fucking course I want to come back with you -- to see what you continue to bring to the world and where the future takes you.
[ His shoulders lift. ]
With you, I finally see fucking freedom.
[ No more Mr. World breathing down his neck, threatening to delete him. No more stupid war that he doesn't particularly care to fight. Just technology, advancements, evolution -- the way it should be, helmed by a single brilliant human with sometimes questionable sanity. ]
[well, he's not really sure if he has a problem with that. which might have been a problem in itself.
trying to get tech back to his own time would have been a problem. promising him things even he couldn't guarantee would have been a problem. feelings would have been a problem. and arguably there were feelings involved here, but tech makes a much better case for himself. appeals to logic rather than sentiment. the praise didn't hurt, of course.
he can respect the desire for freedom, to go beyond godhood. because the answer to his earlier question was and would always be human.]
I could use a dedicated admin for my global server...
[and tech would love it. it was what he was born to do, after all.]
But do you really hate your own world that much? Isn't there anything you'd leave behind?
[ His expression brightens after Kaiba's remark. He rolls onto his back, tucking a hand behind his head, eyes on the ceiling as he visualizes this future -- getting to just be, getting to feed off of a global network, and ultimately being there for every new creation and invention, helping Kaiba innovate the fuck out of his world.
That is what the god of technology is meant to be and it has been a very long time since he has felt such optimistic hope. In his current version, he's basically never felt it. ]
There's not a single thing for me back in my world. Before I got here, I was locked up by another god who planned to siphon me for my power. Everyone I've ever remotely cared about betrayed me. So I'm not leaving anything behind.
[ He says these things very matter-of-fact. It's not a ploy for sympathy. He doesn't want sympathy and doesn't expect it from Kaiba. But it's why it's been so easy to carry on with Kaiba, who had been upfront about the possibility of betrayal from the start. He could respect the lack of manipulation and outright honesty, even when honesty hurts. And it's why he would head to his world without hesitation, why Kaiba has earned his loyalty beyond hell. ]
[gods could die; he had seen it happen. but hooked into such a network, he's not so sure it could ever happen to tech. functional immortality seemed right up his alley.
he watches tech snap out his funk and it does please him on some level. he was positively insufferable whenever he got himself into a sulk, but borderline brilliant whenever those gears began to turn and he started to plot at warpspeed. because he hadn't lied, he really was capable of amazing things. master of the only religion he would ever abide.
it also gets him to forget about those two horns on his head, at least for a while.]
You are kind of a weakling. No offense.
[he thinks on it a moment longer, then declares with all his usual finality:]
Alright then. Assuming it's a straightforward solution, you can come along.
[what's the worst thing that could happen? he'd cling even harder? no harder than this, he thinks.]
[ He rolls his eyes at Kaiba's first remark, playfully dour. But his expression soon clears to something sincere -- a note of genuine happiness. Kaiba's not the only one in his world, either. Yugi would be there, too. So that's already two positives. ]
I've been anchored to the US for so long, it'll be nice to get a change of pace -- see Japan.
[ He shifts something in his programming to briefly talk in Japanese. ]
I can switch up languages, no problem. [ And back to English. ] So adapting will be a no brainer. I look forward to getting the grand tour of Kaiba Corp.
[ A softer smile. ]
And meeting Mokuba, so I can tell him all about how fucking cool his big brother was. The G-rated version. [ Wink. ]
You'll have to bone up on your manners. Funny as dropping f-bombs might be, it's not really how we do things over there.
[not even seto kaiba could get away with doing that. or he could, but he'd lose a lot of business.
but maybe this was for the best. it would keep tech quiet and he would no longer hear him harp and whine and bitch and moan about how mean he had been on any given day, at least not so much. he seemed satisfied and that's about all he can expect from such a flighty god. and he's satisfied too, if only in a selfish sense, always seeking efficiency.
the hold on his chin loosens, one of his hands pulling out a length of hair with distaste.]
And get a better haircut. No street thugs on my payroll.
And with good reason, judging by all I've seen. Can only imagine what you can do when you have unlimited resources and the whole fucking world at your disposal.
[ He glances over at Kaiba, flashing him an approving smile. ]
Tell you what, though. When you bust your way out of hell, you'll earn the name. I'll call you Kaiba-sama all day and night. Cause that server's running 'round the clock, baby.
[ His index finger extends and makes a slow clock-wise motion. ]
Most secure network the world over. Between the two of us, no one will be hacking into your shit. Feels like we need a drink to toast to this merger.
[ With a laugh, he turns to face Kaiba again, chin resting coyly on his palm. ]
Don't suppose you have a bottle of something stashed here, do you?
You're already in my bed, you brownnoser. You don't need to keep kissing my ass.
[though if he wanted to, he wouldn't stop him. maybe. possibly.
he knows very well what he's referring to but decides to play dumb, mirroring the move so they just looked like a pair of gossiping schoolgirls, batting lashes at each other. an exceedingly rare seto kaiba maneuver, executed only when he was being deliberately dense. usually to annoy the other person.]
What, hard liquor? Because I've got a headache now, which I can only assume is because of you.
[ Deliberately spoken with a deliberately obnoxious grin. Gaze veers from Kaiba's eyes to his lips and then sweeps toward the horns, which could be the cause of a very literal headache. Expression morphs into concern. ]
You can go back to sleep if you want. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I wouldn't have. But Kisara wanted me here, so clearly I have to stay. As per dragon's orders. I don't make the rules. Sorry.
[ He smiles, not at all sorry. Not one bit. Inching closer, he presses his lips to Kaiba's -- perhaps in further reassurance that he doesn't care about the horns or the claws, but mostly because he wants to kiss him. ]
[false alarm, he would absolutely continue to be insufferable. perhaps that was simply the technical way.
and he doesn't buy for two seconds that he could just roll over and go back to sleep, so proven when the obnoxious brownnoser in his bed slinks ahead again and snatches up his mouth. he tenses, because even if tech was sure of himself, that didn't mean the man with the horns felt the same. it didn't mean he could just pick up where they last left off.
he doesn't refuse him. but he doesn't welcome him either. yet again a flash of the young man he truly was, not quite as confident as he claimed to be.]
[ Tech's hand comes to rest against Kaiba's cheek and he inches back, lips still close but not quite touching. Kaiba hasn't even seen brown nosing yet, not with what he's about to pull out on him. ]
You're still downright fucking majestic, you know. I mean, fuck. Even when you were a dragon. If that had lasted any longer, I guess I would have learned how to take a spiked dick.
[ He laughs a little, pulling back further so he can make eye contact. ]
Nothing changes because no matter how much they alter you...
[ His index finger comes up to press to the center of Kaiba's forehead between those horns. It's gentle, just in case the entire area is sore to the touch. ]
...this remains the same. Same keen fucking mind powering it all. It's your mind that attracts me the most. I just want you to know that.
[he's not often given cause to turn red, but that just about does it. huffing, he starts to protest...]
You can't just...
[...but he winds up trailing off, because not even he was sure where he was going with it.
his hand twitches, then turns upward, finding the tip of a horn. it's the first time he's touched one with anything less than derision. actually, it's the first time he's ever doubted his own appearance. not since gozaburo, anyway, when he was called ugly and useless and a thousand other terrible things -- all as a vulnerable child who broke beneath it.]
You're just in love with the idea of being loved. It's why gods are so weak.
[but it is, in truth, a weak retort. barely muttered under breath.]
[ His eyes follow Kaiba's hand at his horn, thumb gracing over his cheek. This is the second time Kaiba's brought up love, and Tech doesn't know where this idea has come from -- to intermingle love and worship. After the mess with Monika, he wants nothing to do with love. He doesn't even believe it's a real concept -- just a lie people tell themselves when they mean something else. Lust, predominantly. ]
I don't need you, Kaiba. The type of worship that gets me by isn't what we do. I get power from people being glued to their phones. Worship funnels in with every social media post, every disgusting, self-validating selfie, every time someone jerks off to niche pornography. Even in this place where there's barely any tech around, I can still get by because people still have the network. There are still people around who worship the devices that are part of my kingdom. I'm better than the other gods because of it.
[ His other hand comes up, residing on Kaiba's other cheek -- cupping his face. ]
I'm here because I want to be. If this was about sustaining me, I'd be in bed with your duel disk. Not you. It's you I want, independent of all that. You're the only one worthy of the attention of a god in all of this place. Is it really so hard to believe there's no hidden agenda? Because here's the simple truth, Kaiba. Being around you makes me happy.
[ His lips pinch and he shrugs as though to say: simple as that. ]
[that's simple: the idea comes from a place of such irreversible hurt that he simply cannot contemplate the concept of it. not what it really looks like, not outside his own family.
everything had its price. nobody did anything for free. relationships were transactional; sex was just a distraction, as he himself said. no one really liked any one else. they just pretended to feel that way, just to see what they'd get out of it. it's why human beings were so miserable and pathetic, even if he would always preach their value over gods.
they were also terribly stubborn. it shows in his eyes, as if he intended to fight, but then it dies down again. as if it never were.]
I see.
[he gives up. he surrenders. his face sinks into his hold. his eyes shut.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
gently letting kisara down on the floor and shooing her away -- she obeys without complaint -- he turns only his head to leer at tech over his shoulder. so needy, so clingy, almost from the start. he doesn't trust it, the claims that he cared. he suspects it only extends as far as his own welfare, chasing some fleeting high. just like one of his drugs.
not that he could blame him. in this place, getting by however you could meant doing whatever you could for as long as your sentence might last.]
Are we winning?
[a god from the dirt. what a wonderful parrot he was.]
Is this what "winning" looks like?
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[ He meets Kaiba's gaze, unflinching. Maybe this doesn't feel like a win. Maybe it only feels like a stalemate. But this place did it's best to break them both, and neither of them let it. It came hard. It came with everything and neither of them let it. They didn't escape unscathed, of course, but they're still standing.
And if Kaiba was wavering on that thought, Tech Boy wouldn't let him. He wouldn't let Kaiba lose. One loss is both of their losses -- at least from his perspective on this partnership. ]
What happens here and now is just a little time out. And you can be as pissed or upset or down as you want. I'm here to get you back in the game.
no subject
You're pretty shitty at pep talks.
[which was the stone cold truth. effortlessly delivered by seto kaiba, once more.
but he does turn all the way over to face him. his eyes aren't quite as irritated as he might have expected; they're just dull, dreary. a deep, dark blue, as opposed to their usual hue, a much sharper sapphire. nor does he sound all that angry. just weary of wakefulness, roused from sleep too soon.]
Are you alright? Did you need me to look at anything?
[when in doubt, redirect. if in further doubt, redirect again. he'd rather not talk about himself. not this time.]
no subject
Hey. Pep talks aren't meant to be my thing. That's all Media. But I'll give anything a try once where you're concerned.
[ Once Kaiba has resettled into his new position, Tech scoots closer to selfishly pull himself into his chest. ]
Sorry to say I'm still operating smoothly since the last time you tinkered. Nothing broken. You're too good at your work.
[ A light pat to Kaiba's chest. He settles for a moment in silence, contemplative. And then finally he speaks again. ]
Did I ever tell you I'm rooming with one of the guys Monika was also dating when we were together? I mean that part doesn't matter, but he's like this AI who thinks it's on him to 'fix the broken AI.' So like...
[ His grip tenses, a hint of anxiety. ]
I just have a feeling one of these days he's gonna try and kill me when he finds out what I did to her. I can probably stop him. If there's still tech in him, I can force stop his movements. But also it's like this clock ticking down on a bomb, you know? The whole situation's a fucking mess I wish I could just erase.
[ Eyes flicker toward Kaiba and he smiles with a bit of exhausted humor. ]
Can we just hurry up and find our way out of here, already?
no subject
kaiba doesn't resist, though. as usual, tech gets his way, by virtue of being a big baby. operating smoothly, of course, except for the part where he was the most emotionally unstable individual he had met outside his own deceased brother. tech pats him, he pats back. really, what else could he do at this point? they sure were stuck with each other.
well, he can at least veto any monika discussion. not in his house, nor sir.]
I don't care about your boy troubles, Tech. Tell someone else.
[he dug his own grave. or her own grave. whatever. he waves it aside.]
But I will find a way out. It just might not be for both of us.
no subject
His eyes lower, but he swallows it back ultimately. It's just the way it goes and it doesn't do anyone any good to hope for something better. ]
A bridge we'll cross when we get there, I guess. I mean, it's more important you get out of here anyway.
[ His head withers to listen to the steady drum of Kaiba's heartbeat. It's easier to stomach his disappointment if he doesn't make eye contact. ]
You have something to return to back home.
no subject
because honestly, tech doesn't need to say a word for him to just know he's sulking about something. and he's the something, in this particular case. he's dealt with younger siblings; he knows how they tend to pout. it calls into question tech being older in any sense of the word. or being any more mature, when he continually pulls stunts like this.
so he reaches down and takes hold of his chin. firmly, but not harshly. more of a now you listen to me sort of grip.]
Do I need to rewire you? Make you less clingy, maybe?
[as if that were even possible. well, at least tech has his attention.]
I don't hate you, you moron. I don't even dislike you. So quit acting like I'm throwing you out like trash.
no subject
That's not the issue, dude.
[ Although it's nice to hear that confirmation. 'I don't even dislike you' could be translated to 'I like you.' It's a clear step up from where they were a month ago. ]
I just wanted to think for as much as you've invested in me, you'd find a way to get me out with you and we'd find that solution together.
[ He shrugs. ]
I know. It's stupid. And it's not like I'm gonna blame you for taking any way out you can get, but...
[ Finally he makes eye contact. ]
...doesn't mean it won't still sting.
no subject
You want to come back with me...?
[getting out was all well and good. getting out together, going back to the same world, was a very different story.]
no subject
You are brilliance, innovation, everything I've searched for in my world. You're only eighteen and you surpassed everything my creator has done with his whole fucking life. Of fucking course I want to come back with you -- to see what you continue to bring to the world and where the future takes you.
[ His shoulders lift. ]
With you, I finally see fucking freedom.
[ No more Mr. World breathing down his neck, threatening to delete him. No more stupid war that he doesn't particularly care to fight. Just technology, advancements, evolution -- the way it should be, helmed by a single brilliant human with sometimes questionable sanity. ]
no subject
trying to get tech back to his own time would have been a problem. promising him things even he couldn't guarantee would have been a problem. feelings would have been a problem. and arguably there were feelings involved here, but tech makes a much better case for himself. appeals to logic rather than sentiment. the praise didn't hurt, of course.
he can respect the desire for freedom, to go beyond godhood. because the answer to his earlier question was and would always be human.]
I could use a dedicated admin for my global server...
[and tech would love it. it was what he was born to do, after all.]
But do you really hate your own world that much? Isn't there anything you'd leave behind?
no subject
That is what the god of technology is meant to be and it has been a very long time since he has felt such optimistic hope. In his current version, he's basically never felt it. ]
There's not a single thing for me back in my world. Before I got here, I was locked up by another god who planned to siphon me for my power. Everyone I've ever remotely cared about betrayed me. So I'm not leaving anything behind.
[ He says these things very matter-of-fact. It's not a ploy for sympathy. He doesn't want sympathy and doesn't expect it from Kaiba. But it's why it's been so easy to carry on with Kaiba, who had been upfront about the possibility of betrayal from the start. He could respect the lack of manipulation and outright honesty, even when honesty hurts. And it's why he would head to his world without hesitation, why Kaiba has earned his loyalty beyond hell. ]
no subject
he watches tech snap out his funk and it does please him on some level. he was positively insufferable whenever he got himself into a sulk, but borderline brilliant whenever those gears began to turn and he started to plot at warpspeed. because he hadn't lied, he really was capable of amazing things. master of the only religion he would ever abide.
it also gets him to forget about those two horns on his head, at least for a while.]
You are kind of a weakling. No offense.
[he thinks on it a moment longer, then declares with all his usual finality:]
Alright then. Assuming it's a straightforward solution, you can come along.
[what's the worst thing that could happen? he'd cling even harder? no harder than this, he thinks.]
no subject
I've been anchored to the US for so long, it'll be nice to get a change of pace -- see Japan.
[ He shifts something in his programming to briefly talk in Japanese. ]
I can switch up languages, no problem. [ And back to English. ] So adapting will be a no brainer. I look forward to getting the grand tour of Kaiba Corp.
[ A softer smile. ]
And meeting Mokuba, so I can tell him all about how fucking cool his big brother was. The G-rated version. [ Wink. ]
no subject
You'll have to bone up on your manners. Funny as dropping f-bombs might be, it's not really how we do things over there.
[not even seto kaiba could get away with doing that. or he could, but he'd lose a lot of business.
but maybe this was for the best. it would keep tech quiet and he would no longer hear him harp and whine and bitch and moan about how mean he had been on any given day, at least not so much. he seemed satisfied and that's about all he can expect from such a flighty god. and he's satisfied too, if only in a selfish sense, always seeking efficiency.
the hold on his chin loosens, one of his hands pulling out a length of hair with distaste.]
And get a better haircut. No street thugs on my payroll.
no subject
[ He wrinkles his nose when Kaiba tugs out a piece of hair. Like.....seriously??? The guy has seen Yugi and he's going to harp on his look? Geesh! ]
Uh, my appearance is digital. Thank you. I can change it on a whim. When my powers are running top shape. They don't here, obviously.
[ His hand drapes across his own stomach, fingers drumming against it. ]
But like if I'm on your payroll, you gonna expect me to call you Kaiba-sama outside the bedroom, too?
no subject
'fraid so. If you're running my server, it means you're one of my employees. And no employee gets to call me anything else, not on the job.
[with one critical exception, which he details with relish.]
Mokuba acts as my vice president and uses nii-sama. Honored elder brother. So I'm "honored" in every role and every capacity.
no subject
[ He glances over at Kaiba, flashing him an approving smile. ]
Tell you what, though. When you bust your way out of hell, you'll earn the name. I'll call you Kaiba-sama all day and night. Cause that server's running 'round the clock, baby.
[ His index finger extends and makes a slow clock-wise motion. ]
Most secure network the world over. Between the two of us, no one will be hacking into your shit. Feels like we need a drink to toast to this merger.
[ With a laugh, he turns to face Kaiba again, chin resting coyly on his palm. ]
Don't suppose you have a bottle of something stashed here, do you?
no subject
[though if he wanted to, he wouldn't stop him. maybe. possibly.
he knows very well what he's referring to but decides to play dumb, mirroring the move so they just looked like a pair of gossiping schoolgirls, batting lashes at each other. an exceedingly rare seto kaiba maneuver, executed only when he was being deliberately dense. usually to annoy the other person.]
What, hard liquor? Because I've got a headache now, which I can only assume is because of you.
no subject
[ Deliberately spoken with a deliberately obnoxious grin. Gaze veers from Kaiba's eyes to his lips and then sweeps toward the horns, which could be the cause of a very literal headache. Expression morphs into concern. ]
You can go back to sleep if you want. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I wouldn't have. But Kisara wanted me here, so clearly I have to stay. As per dragon's orders. I don't make the rules. Sorry.
[ He smiles, not at all sorry. Not one bit. Inching closer, he presses his lips to Kaiba's -- perhaps in further reassurance that he doesn't care about the horns or the claws, but mostly because he wants to kiss him. ]
no subject
and he doesn't buy for two seconds that he could just roll over and go back to sleep, so proven when the obnoxious brownnoser in his bed slinks ahead again and snatches up his mouth. he tenses, because even if tech was sure of himself, that didn't mean the man with the horns felt the same. it didn't mean he could just pick up where they last left off.
he doesn't refuse him. but he doesn't welcome him either. yet again a flash of the young man he truly was, not quite as confident as he claimed to be.]
no subject
You're still downright fucking majestic, you know. I mean, fuck. Even when you were a dragon. If that had lasted any longer, I guess I would have learned how to take a spiked dick.
[ He laughs a little, pulling back further so he can make eye contact. ]
Nothing changes because no matter how much they alter you...
[ His index finger comes up to press to the center of Kaiba's forehead between those horns. It's gentle, just in case the entire area is sore to the touch. ]
...this remains the same. Same keen fucking mind powering it all. It's your mind that attracts me the most. I just want you to know that.
no subject
You can't just...
[...but he winds up trailing off, because not even he was sure where he was going with it.
his hand twitches, then turns upward, finding the tip of a horn. it's the first time he's touched one with anything less than derision. actually, it's the first time he's ever doubted his own appearance. not since gozaburo, anyway, when he was called ugly and useless and a thousand other terrible things -- all as a vulnerable child who broke beneath it.]
You're just in love with the idea of being loved. It's why gods are so weak.
[but it is, in truth, a weak retort. barely muttered under breath.]
Worship sustains you, and without it, you die.
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I don't need you, Kaiba. The type of worship that gets me by isn't what we do. I get power from people being glued to their phones. Worship funnels in with every social media post, every disgusting, self-validating selfie, every time someone jerks off to niche pornography. Even in this place where there's barely any tech around, I can still get by because people still have the network. There are still people around who worship the devices that are part of my kingdom. I'm better than the other gods because of it.
[ His other hand comes up, residing on Kaiba's other cheek -- cupping his face. ]
I'm here because I want to be. If this was about sustaining me, I'd be in bed with your duel disk. Not you. It's you I want, independent of all that. You're the only one worthy of the attention of a god in all of this place. Is it really so hard to believe there's no hidden agenda? Because here's the simple truth, Kaiba. Being around you makes me happy.
[ His lips pinch and he shrugs as though to say: simple as that. ]
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everything had its price. nobody did anything for free. relationships were transactional; sex was just a distraction, as he himself said. no one really liked any one else. they just pretended to feel that way, just to see what they'd get out of it. it's why human beings were so miserable and pathetic, even if he would always preach their value over gods.
they were also terribly stubborn. it shows in his eyes, as if he intended to fight, but then it dies down again. as if it never were.]
I see.
[he gives up. he surrenders. his face sinks into his hold. his eyes shut.]
Then I'll let you be happy. Just this once.
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fin~