[thankfully, taking a smaller man did mean he wasn't going to limp for the rest of the night. though he was going at it with an admirable fervor.
he drifts in and out for the next few minutes, rocked back by every thrust. the exertion coupled with his existing exhaustion meant that he barely even feels it when tech finishes up; he barely even reacts, except for how deeply his claws dig into his own palms. the blood trickles down his skin, onto tech's back, though no pain can be felt there at all.
don't hurt him, don't hurt him, don't hurt him, he reminds himself. not everyone wants to be hurt. normal people don't want to be hurt. sometimes he forgets.
what a messy affair. usually on the opposing end, he isn't accustomed to that nasty stickiness. his eyes are still hazy as they drift to where they're connected, as those words of praise echo in his ears. underwater again, he thinks, barely listening to them at all. luckily for tech, he couldn't see much of anything either. he mutters under his breath:]
Damn.
[damn for any number of reasons. but mostly because they probably crossed another one of those unacrossable lines again.]
[ Tech collapses forward, withering as the last wave of pleasure crests. Lips roam Kaiba's collarbone, giving one smug kiss to the mark, his mark, at the center of Kaiba's chest. He lets out a contented sigh. ]
Yeah. Damn.
[ They could linger, he wants to linger. But he should move, they should get cleaned up, Kaiba's probably tired, and Tech's bleeding. At least, he feels something wet on his back. Was he getting to a point where he didn't even notice Kaiba cutting him? Slowly, he draws back, departs from Kaiba's body and sits back on his knees. At this vantage point, the full picture reveals itself -- the bite of Kaiba's claws into his own palms and the brilliant contrast of red against his skin. ]
Fuck, dude. You good?
[ Brows knit in concern. He wants to reiterate the point that he heals and Kaiba doesn't -- but somehow he knows that's not the point. The blood stains were Kaiba holding something back. For him. He didn't have to, but he did. ]
Do you have, um, a wash basin? For cleaning... [ These lousy medieval rooms. He couldn't wait to get back to the hotel where they didn't have to share a bathroom. ]
[kaiba neither confirms nor denies any desire to get cleaned up. he just rests quietly, in stark contrast to his usual boisterousness. or even just a few moments ago, when he was enthusiastically enjoying their coupling -- something he wouldn't be able to dismiss later. he never forgot anything and, in this case, he's certain tech won't forget either.
he sinks onto his side, though more as a matter of comfort than any real upset.]
It doesn't hurt.
[it honestly doesn't. or even if it did, he couldn't tell the difference anymore.]
But you did well. I'll mark you down as a "pass" for your exam.
[ It's honestly somewhat surreal that it actually happened -- that even now, Kaiba's still allowing him to see something almost vulnerable. No. Not vulnerable. Real. A depth behind the mask, beyond the veneer. ]
A pass, but I bet you still won't bump me up to that fucking 7, will you?
[ He smiles, climbing off the bed and searching the room until he finds a wash basin. Tech plants his hand beneath, gives a burst of electric heat to warm it before he approaches the mattress again. Wringing out a cloth, he brings it first to Kaiba's brow, dabbing across his forehead -- smoothing carefully along the protrusions of horns. ]
Give me your hands. Blahblah don't tell me what to do. I know. Give them to me anyway.
It was a pass for your admin exam. Not anything else.
[good effort, though. he almost respects the fact that he tried.
he feels a little childish when tech tries to tend to him, less because he's uncomfortable -- once you let a man fuck you up the ass, it's all downhill from there -- and more because he hasn't been a child in a very long time. as in over a decade. he doesn't know how to handle it so he just sort of grunts.]
That's not necessary. I can do it.
[more delicately, he adds:]
Careful with the horns. Pretty sure they're one big erogenous zone at this point.
[ Tech Boy gives Kaiba a look. He has to call into question his impossibly high standards if all of that didn't earn at least one grade higher. But he lets it go without comment -- to be continued another time. For now, he dips the cloth back into the small tub, wrings it out, and keeps his eyes on his own actions. ]
It's not just you alone anymore.
[ Eyes meet. ]
You don't have to do everything for yourself.
[ His hand extends, fingers outstretched for Kaiba's -- waiting patiently for him to let him tend to his wounds. ]
After all, I need those hands clean so you can wash my back. Only fair, right?
[ He turns, pointing toward Kaiba's blood stains on his own skin. He can't really tell how bad it is, and he doesn't particularly care about them, but he figured Kaiba worked in equivalent exchanges -- currency, transactional, this for that. ]
And just because you've been alone and you can quote unquote handle it, doesn't mean you have to.
[ But he doesn't say anything more than that, even though there's so much more he wants to say -- so much he wants to ask. He maintains his silence and allows Kaiba the next move. Kaiba's always had to be the caretaker, hasn't he? So it's hard for him to know any other way, hard for him to allow anyone else in. Tech gets it. It's frustrating, but he gets it. ]
[oh. those. well, he really shouldn't have to, but...
he can't exactly reach back there. and it would probably stain his clothes, which he couldn't patch up like an ordinary wound. so after a moment of thought, kaiba sighs heavily and offers his hands. reluctantly, as if he expects tech to slap of pair of handcuffs on him. though he might not be entirely opposed... just not right now.]
Fine. Just get it over with.
[he needs a nap. he needs several naps. because that was exhausting.]
[ Tech remains quiet -- he doesn't rub it in that he got his way or draw any further attention to it. He simply maintains his end of the deal, tending to Kaiba's wounded palms and cleaning the blood off of his forearms. His touch is gentle, although Tech's not entirely used to caring for humans, so he is a bit mechanical about it. Like a machine trying really hard to do a good job. ]
Do you want me to stay? Or is this one of those situations where I'm getting kicked out?
[ Tech smiles toward him to show he's not offended by whatever Kaiba decides to do. Either way, he finishes up the last of the clean up on Kaiba's hands and then dips the cloth back into the water, pushing the basin toward him. Tech turns to present his back, eyes on the furthest wall. ]
I'd like to stay...
[ If his own opinion counts for anything in this. ]
[kaiba was surly but generally fair in the sense that he would return a favor, at least as it suited him. it was his nature as a businessman to do so; this time it was a literal occasion of scratching someone's back. so he takes up the cloth, sits up and starts to wash the wet spots where his hands had drip, drip, dripped blood.]
Are you falling in love with me?
[well, that was one way to answer that question. kinda. sorta.]
[ What a question that is. It cuts through him with a cold terror, causes his shoulders to tense beneath that gently moving cloth. ]
N-no!
[ He stammers out, which might mean it's actually a yes. But actually, he doesn't know, and that's the angle he chooses to focus on because it's the easiest one to take rather than focus on saying all the things that might get him hurt or rejected. He just doesn't want to face that pain of rejection so soon again... ]
I wasn't designed for love. I don't understand it, obviously. Look at my track record.
[ His fingers curl into fists, tense and white-knuckled on his lap. ]
I mean, would you ask Obelisk if he was falling in love with you? Isn't that kind of the same thing we got going here? I mean, you and him didn't fuck, but...he served you loyally.
[yeah. that's a yes. but he doesn't make a big deal out of it, just humming as he works the cloth along those wet spots. he really did look human from behind.]
So long as you get the job done, I don't care. It can easily be shut off.
[notably he doesn't insist upon it. he just reminds him: he had the distinct advantage of disabling his own emotions if they ever happened to get in the way. and if he was envious of anything, it was that. because as much as he loved his brother, it would be so much easier if he didn't. if he could shut that off too.]
Whether you were designed for it or not, any admin of mine would definitely decide for themselves.
[ It's a quiet response as though such a thing is unthinkable. To forget Kaiba would be the greatest loss. Because by this point, it would likely be impossible to just mute what he wanted to mute when everything tied in together, emotions and memories intermingled. ]
I couldn't do it. No matter how much it hurts. I couldn't delete the mark you've left on me.
[ Once Kaiba has finished washing him, Tech turns toward him completely, blue eyes searching. ]
But what if it's not that, though?
[ Falling in love. He refuses to say it as though he might curse himself and speak it into existence. He seeks the answers from Kaiba, but figures it's probably hopeless. What does Kaiba know about love either? I'm going to win and make him look up to me. The words repeat in his mind, float over this mysterious him and who or what he means to Kaiba.
Tech lowers his gaze. He can't bring himself to bring that up either. Another time. Maybe. ]
Actually, forget it. I don't want to talk about it. Can I stay?
[so there were feelings involved here. it could be love, it could be affection, it could be something else entirely, but it confirms to kaiba what was already obvious when tech flinched. at least now it doesn't bother him as much at the beginning, when he shrugged him off and insisted that he no interest in such things.
that hasn't changed. there's still no interest. but tech may be getting closer to the truth -- that there was no interest because there was no capability. not anymore.
kaiba doesn't reply. he finishes wiping stickiness from skin, gingerly dabs between his legs then sets the bowl aside. he draws tech into his arms and acts as the big spoon, holding him flush and shutting his eyes. that, more than anything else, was his answer. he could stay. he could stay because he had nowhere else to go, emotionally speaking.
at least he recognizes it this time. tech may have passed his so-called exam, but he was still as flighty as ever.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
he drifts in and out for the next few minutes, rocked back by every thrust. the exertion coupled with his existing exhaustion meant that he barely even feels it when tech finishes up; he barely even reacts, except for how deeply his claws dig into his own palms. the blood trickles down his skin, onto tech's back, though no pain can be felt there at all.
don't hurt him, don't hurt him, don't hurt him, he reminds himself. not everyone wants to be hurt. normal people don't want to be hurt. sometimes he forgets.
what a messy affair. usually on the opposing end, he isn't accustomed to that nasty stickiness. his eyes are still hazy as they drift to where they're connected, as those words of praise echo in his ears. underwater again, he thinks, barely listening to them at all. luckily for tech, he couldn't see much of anything either. he mutters under his breath:]
Damn.
[damn for any number of reasons. but mostly because they probably crossed another one of those unacrossable lines again.]
no subject
Yeah. Damn.
[ They could linger, he wants to linger. But he should move, they should get cleaned up, Kaiba's probably tired, and Tech's bleeding. At least, he feels something wet on his back. Was he getting to a point where he didn't even notice Kaiba cutting him? Slowly, he draws back, departs from Kaiba's body and sits back on his knees. At this vantage point, the full picture reveals itself -- the bite of Kaiba's claws into his own palms and the brilliant contrast of red against his skin. ]
Fuck, dude. You good?
[ Brows knit in concern. He wants to reiterate the point that he heals and Kaiba doesn't -- but somehow he knows that's not the point. The blood stains were Kaiba holding something back. For him. He didn't have to, but he did. ]
Do you have, um, a wash basin? For cleaning... [ These lousy medieval rooms. He couldn't wait to get back to the hotel where they didn't have to share a bathroom. ]
no subject
he sinks onto his side, though more as a matter of comfort than any real upset.]
It doesn't hurt.
[it honestly doesn't. or even if it did, he couldn't tell the difference anymore.]
But you did well. I'll mark you down as a "pass" for your exam.
no subject
A pass, but I bet you still won't bump me up to that fucking 7, will you?
[ He smiles, climbing off the bed and searching the room until he finds a wash basin. Tech plants his hand beneath, gives a burst of electric heat to warm it before he approaches the mattress again. Wringing out a cloth, he brings it first to Kaiba's brow, dabbing across his forehead -- smoothing carefully along the protrusions of horns. ]
Give me your hands. Blahblah don't tell me what to do. I know. Give them to me anyway.
no subject
[good effort, though. he almost respects the fact that he tried.
he feels a little childish when tech tries to tend to him, less because he's uncomfortable -- once you let a man fuck you up the ass, it's all downhill from there -- and more because he hasn't been a child in a very long time. as in over a decade. he doesn't know how to handle it so he just sort of grunts.]
That's not necessary. I can do it.
[more delicately, he adds:]
Careful with the horns. Pretty sure they're one big erogenous zone at this point.
no subject
It's not just you alone anymore.
[ Eyes meet. ]
You don't have to do everything for yourself.
[ His hand extends, fingers outstretched for Kaiba's -- waiting patiently for him to let him tend to his wounds. ]
After all, I need those hands clean so you can wash my back. Only fair, right?
no subject
[he doesn't reach back. he just stares warily at him, like a parent dealing with a precocious child.]
Your what now? Since when did this turn into a steamy shower scene?
no subject
[ He turns, pointing toward Kaiba's blood stains on his own skin. He can't really tell how bad it is, and he doesn't particularly care about them, but he figured Kaiba worked in equivalent exchanges -- currency, transactional, this for that. ]
And just because you've been alone and you can quote unquote handle it, doesn't mean you have to.
[ But he doesn't say anything more than that, even though there's so much more he wants to say -- so much he wants to ask. He maintains his silence and allows Kaiba the next move. Kaiba's always had to be the caretaker, hasn't he? So it's hard for him to know any other way, hard for him to allow anyone else in. Tech gets it. It's frustrating, but he gets it. ]
no subject
he can't exactly reach back there. and it would probably stain his clothes, which he couldn't patch up like an ordinary wound. so after a moment of thought, kaiba sighs heavily and offers his hands. reluctantly, as if he expects tech to slap of pair of handcuffs on him. though he might not be entirely opposed... just not right now.]
Fine. Just get it over with.
[he needs a nap. he needs several naps. because that was exhausting.]
no subject
Do you want me to stay? Or is this one of those situations where I'm getting kicked out?
[ Tech smiles toward him to show he's not offended by whatever Kaiba decides to do. Either way, he finishes up the last of the clean up on Kaiba's hands and then dips the cloth back into the water, pushing the basin toward him. Tech turns to present his back, eyes on the furthest wall. ]
I'd like to stay...
[ If his own opinion counts for anything in this. ]
no subject
Are you falling in love with me?
[well, that was one way to answer that question. kinda. sorta.]
no subject
N-no!
[ He stammers out, which might mean it's actually a yes. But actually, he doesn't know, and that's the angle he chooses to focus on because it's the easiest one to take rather than focus on saying all the things that might get him hurt or rejected. He just doesn't want to face that pain of rejection so soon again... ]
I wasn't designed for love. I don't understand it, obviously. Look at my track record.
[ His fingers curl into fists, tense and white-knuckled on his lap. ]
I mean, would you ask Obelisk if he was falling in love with you? Isn't that kind of the same thing we got going here? I mean, you and him didn't fuck, but...he served you loyally.
[ His eyes veer over his shoulder toward Kaiba. ]
no subject
So long as you get the job done, I don't care. It can easily be shut off.
[notably he doesn't insist upon it. he just reminds him: he had the distinct advantage of disabling his own emotions if they ever happened to get in the way. and if he was envious of anything, it was that. because as much as he loved his brother, it would be so much easier if he didn't. if he could shut that off too.]
Whether you were designed for it or not, any admin of mine would definitely decide for themselves.
no subject
[ It's a quiet response as though such a thing is unthinkable. To forget Kaiba would be the greatest loss. Because by this point, it would likely be impossible to just mute what he wanted to mute when everything tied in together, emotions and memories intermingled. ]
I couldn't do it. No matter how much it hurts. I couldn't delete the mark you've left on me.
[ Once Kaiba has finished washing him, Tech turns toward him completely, blue eyes searching. ]
But what if it's not that, though?
[ Falling in love. He refuses to say it as though he might curse himself and speak it into existence. He seeks the answers from Kaiba, but figures it's probably hopeless. What does Kaiba know about love either? I'm going to win and make him look up to me. The words repeat in his mind, float over this mysterious him and who or what he means to Kaiba.
Tech lowers his gaze. He can't bring himself to bring that up either. Another time. Maybe. ]
Actually, forget it. I don't want to talk about it. Can I stay?
fin~
that hasn't changed. there's still no interest. but tech may be getting closer to the truth -- that there was no interest because there was no capability. not anymore.
kaiba doesn't reply. he finishes wiping stickiness from skin, gingerly dabs between his legs then sets the bowl aside. he draws tech into his arms and acts as the big spoon, holding him flush and shutting his eyes. that, more than anything else, was his answer. he could stay. he could stay because he had nowhere else to go, emotionally speaking.
at least he recognizes it this time. tech may have passed his so-called exam, but he was still as flighty as ever.]