[gods could die; he had seen it happen. but hooked into such a network, he's not so sure it could ever happen to tech. functional immortality seemed right up his alley.
he watches tech snap out his funk and it does please him on some level. he was positively insufferable whenever he got himself into a sulk, but borderline brilliant whenever those gears began to turn and he started to plot at warpspeed. because he hadn't lied, he really was capable of amazing things. master of the only religion he would ever abide.
it also gets him to forget about those two horns on his head, at least for a while.]
You are kind of a weakling. No offense.
[he thinks on it a moment longer, then declares with all his usual finality:]
Alright then. Assuming it's a straightforward solution, you can come along.
[what's the worst thing that could happen? he'd cling even harder? no harder than this, he thinks.]
[ He rolls his eyes at Kaiba's first remark, playfully dour. But his expression soon clears to something sincere -- a note of genuine happiness. Kaiba's not the only one in his world, either. Yugi would be there, too. So that's already two positives. ]
I've been anchored to the US for so long, it'll be nice to get a change of pace -- see Japan.
[ He shifts something in his programming to briefly talk in Japanese. ]
I can switch up languages, no problem. [ And back to English. ] So adapting will be a no brainer. I look forward to getting the grand tour of Kaiba Corp.
[ A softer smile. ]
And meeting Mokuba, so I can tell him all about how fucking cool his big brother was. The G-rated version. [ Wink. ]
You'll have to bone up on your manners. Funny as dropping f-bombs might be, it's not really how we do things over there.
[not even seto kaiba could get away with doing that. or he could, but he'd lose a lot of business.
but maybe this was for the best. it would keep tech quiet and he would no longer hear him harp and whine and bitch and moan about how mean he had been on any given day, at least not so much. he seemed satisfied and that's about all he can expect from such a flighty god. and he's satisfied too, if only in a selfish sense, always seeking efficiency.
the hold on his chin loosens, one of his hands pulling out a length of hair with distaste.]
And get a better haircut. No street thugs on my payroll.
And with good reason, judging by all I've seen. Can only imagine what you can do when you have unlimited resources and the whole fucking world at your disposal.
[ He glances over at Kaiba, flashing him an approving smile. ]
Tell you what, though. When you bust your way out of hell, you'll earn the name. I'll call you Kaiba-sama all day and night. Cause that server's running 'round the clock, baby.
[ His index finger extends and makes a slow clock-wise motion. ]
Most secure network the world over. Between the two of us, no one will be hacking into your shit. Feels like we need a drink to toast to this merger.
[ With a laugh, he turns to face Kaiba again, chin resting coyly on his palm. ]
Don't suppose you have a bottle of something stashed here, do you?
You're already in my bed, you brownnoser. You don't need to keep kissing my ass.
[though if he wanted to, he wouldn't stop him. maybe. possibly.
he knows very well what he's referring to but decides to play dumb, mirroring the move so they just looked like a pair of gossiping schoolgirls, batting lashes at each other. an exceedingly rare seto kaiba maneuver, executed only when he was being deliberately dense. usually to annoy the other person.]
What, hard liquor? Because I've got a headache now, which I can only assume is because of you.
[ Deliberately spoken with a deliberately obnoxious grin. Gaze veers from Kaiba's eyes to his lips and then sweeps toward the horns, which could be the cause of a very literal headache. Expression morphs into concern. ]
You can go back to sleep if you want. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I wouldn't have. But Kisara wanted me here, so clearly I have to stay. As per dragon's orders. I don't make the rules. Sorry.
[ He smiles, not at all sorry. Not one bit. Inching closer, he presses his lips to Kaiba's -- perhaps in further reassurance that he doesn't care about the horns or the claws, but mostly because he wants to kiss him. ]
[false alarm, he would absolutely continue to be insufferable. perhaps that was simply the technical way.
and he doesn't buy for two seconds that he could just roll over and go back to sleep, so proven when the obnoxious brownnoser in his bed slinks ahead again and snatches up his mouth. he tenses, because even if tech was sure of himself, that didn't mean the man with the horns felt the same. it didn't mean he could just pick up where they last left off.
he doesn't refuse him. but he doesn't welcome him either. yet again a flash of the young man he truly was, not quite as confident as he claimed to be.]
[ Tech's hand comes to rest against Kaiba's cheek and he inches back, lips still close but not quite touching. Kaiba hasn't even seen brown nosing yet, not with what he's about to pull out on him. ]
You're still downright fucking majestic, you know. I mean, fuck. Even when you were a dragon. If that had lasted any longer, I guess I would have learned how to take a spiked dick.
[ He laughs a little, pulling back further so he can make eye contact. ]
Nothing changes because no matter how much they alter you...
[ His index finger comes up to press to the center of Kaiba's forehead between those horns. It's gentle, just in case the entire area is sore to the touch. ]
...this remains the same. Same keen fucking mind powering it all. It's your mind that attracts me the most. I just want you to know that.
[he's not often given cause to turn red, but that just about does it. huffing, he starts to protest...]
You can't just...
[...but he winds up trailing off, because not even he was sure where he was going with it.
his hand twitches, then turns upward, finding the tip of a horn. it's the first time he's touched one with anything less than derision. actually, it's the first time he's ever doubted his own appearance. not since gozaburo, anyway, when he was called ugly and useless and a thousand other terrible things -- all as a vulnerable child who broke beneath it.]
You're just in love with the idea of being loved. It's why gods are so weak.
[but it is, in truth, a weak retort. barely muttered under breath.]
[ His eyes follow Kaiba's hand at his horn, thumb gracing over his cheek. This is the second time Kaiba's brought up love, and Tech doesn't know where this idea has come from -- to intermingle love and worship. After the mess with Monika, he wants nothing to do with love. He doesn't even believe it's a real concept -- just a lie people tell themselves when they mean something else. Lust, predominantly. ]
I don't need you, Kaiba. The type of worship that gets me by isn't what we do. I get power from people being glued to their phones. Worship funnels in with every social media post, every disgusting, self-validating selfie, every time someone jerks off to niche pornography. Even in this place where there's barely any tech around, I can still get by because people still have the network. There are still people around who worship the devices that are part of my kingdom. I'm better than the other gods because of it.
[ His other hand comes up, residing on Kaiba's other cheek -- cupping his face. ]
I'm here because I want to be. If this was about sustaining me, I'd be in bed with your duel disk. Not you. It's you I want, independent of all that. You're the only one worthy of the attention of a god in all of this place. Is it really so hard to believe there's no hidden agenda? Because here's the simple truth, Kaiba. Being around you makes me happy.
[ His lips pinch and he shrugs as though to say: simple as that. ]
[that's simple: the idea comes from a place of such irreversible hurt that he simply cannot contemplate the concept of it. not what it really looks like, not outside his own family.
everything had its price. nobody did anything for free. relationships were transactional; sex was just a distraction, as he himself said. no one really liked any one else. they just pretended to feel that way, just to see what they'd get out of it. it's why human beings were so miserable and pathetic, even if he would always preach their value over gods.
they were also terribly stubborn. it shows in his eyes, as if he intended to fight, but then it dies down again. as if it never were.]
I see.
[he gives up. he surrenders. his face sinks into his hold. his eyes shut.]
[ This relationship has been and continues to be a journey. The dissonance is beginning to mellow, which might simply be circumstantial -- Kaiba has gone through a lot these past few weeks, but Tech Boy sees it as progression. They're finding a balance on this teetering scale.
He smiles, watching as Kaiba settles into his grasp and he preserves this moment in his mind -- a picture to remember for eternity. ]
You know it won't be just this once. You won't even know you're doing it.
[ He teases even knowing it's a lie. Of course Kaiba will know. Kaiba is so incredibly perceptive, always be able to read Tech's moods. ]
What is a god to a nonbeliever? I'd say something imaginary. A fairy tale or myth. A good fictional story. But...
[ He inches closer, his mouth drawing near Kaiba's lips. ]
What am I to you? A powerful ally, a handy tool, a weapon -- all at your disposal. A great business partner who is going to see you through to success time and time again. Mainly...
[ A beat. ]
I'm yours.
[ And that's when he closes in for a second kiss. ]
[he's just tired, that's all. so he'd tell himself. it was just a moment of weakness, which every man had. nothing more to it than that.
but he does know it won't be just this once. he would get tired again. he's tired all the time, if he's being honest with himself. if one other person saw it, then that was fine. even if they went back together, which he very much doubts because he was a skeptic by trade, he would be no different from any other employee. just a particularly gifted one.
he's just tired. that's fine. he's already in bed anyway. maybe he planned for this all along.]
Something imaginary...
[no, he wants to say, that's not true at all. people were real. and they would be the last creatures to inhabit the earth, long after gods were gone.
he realizes, belatedly, that he doesn't have a name quite yet. not the one he promised. he'll have to think a bit harder, because if they did go back together, he couldn't call him something silly like tech. it would have to be something human. something to suit the sorry truth that he would never believe in him, because he never believed in anyone else.
what was he? well...]
Something sad and lonely. Some unpatchable exploit.
[...well, maybe that applied to them both. but he'd never tell.
he allows himself to be kissed this time, holds onto him this time -- mine.]
[ This kiss hits different, not fueled by the flames of passion like many of the others. It's slow-moving, exhausted, but there to paint a very clear picture, at least on Tech Boy's behalf. Kaiba is still worthy. Kaiba is still the only man worthy. Horns, claws, full on dragon features be damned. Tech would still be here, no matter how Kaiba's outward appearance changed.
Maybe that has something to do with that 'sad and lonely' bit. But the nice thing about being with Kaiba is that it doesn't feel lonely. It's about the only time he feels stable these days. Even pockets of dissonance often find resonance the more time they spend with each other.
One hand falls away from Kaiba's face to wrap around his shoulders and draw himself in closer. The other hand chances slipping up into Kaiba's hair and trailing along the smooth curve of his horn. soft and easy so as to not bring him pain. The message behind the touch clearly being it doesn't make you less than. And if that doesn't translate, he murmurs against his lips. ]
Still perfect.
[ And then back into the kiss he lands, his tongue playfully lapping across Kaiba's lower lip to request entrance. ]
[it definitely hits different. because he has his guard down, because tech lured him into a sense of security. not false, he would hope, but it doesn't matter anyway because he's not really thinking about it. he's never been allowed to be a teenager, to act his own age, but there's flashes of it here. glimpses of desperation in how furiously he kisses back.
he does mind his horns and claws. he has to be careful, has to move more cautiously so he doesn't stab or jab his partner. that's different too. he doesn't know his own limits, which was a weird place to be for someone who frequently preached they had none. he leans into his grip and makes a soft sound when tech grazes the tough chitin of a horn.
it's not displeased, not at all. quite the opposite, he's just sensitive.]
Don't.
[it's another read between the lines moment. of course he doesn't want him to stop. he's just navigating foreign territory.]
[ It doesn't sound like a word of warning -- that simple don't. So Tech doesn't take it as one. It amazes him, in fact, that Kaiba can feel the touch -- that there are apparently nerve endings in these horns and they respond to even a soothing caress. His hand wanders all the way to the end, toward the pointed tip that could do real damage if snagged or used to gore. The exterior is tough, durable and dangerous. Reflective of the man he's kissing, actually.
But Tech's not afraid.
Fingertips wander back down along the underside of Kaiba's horn, not once parting from the kiss in this blind exploration. The hand at his shoulders creeps up to brush along the back of his neck, fingers threading in his hair. In spite of the changes, this seems to be a rare glimpse into the human side of Seto Kaiba -- something he did his best to keep at bay, something hidden from the world more often than not. And Tech Boy finds himself enamored by it -- moreso than most of the other facets of Kaiba's personality.
This is rare. This is the reward for two months of persistence. This is a degree of trust that Kaiba probably so rarely gives, and Tech Boy treasures this. It's the most valuable thing he's earned in this place by far.
Slowly, he moves back from Kaiba's lips just to look at him -- to drink in his expression and offer him a warm smile. ]
We don't have to fuck... [ Not the most tactful thing to say. But hear him out here -- he's not the best at talking about emotions. ] I'm fine with just this.
[ His arms around Kaiba, slow and languid kisses. What he's trying to say is that it's not all about sex. And if Kaiba's too drained, either physically or emotionally, they can just kiss until he got too tired and then fall asleep. ]
[he kind of wishes that he was afraid. it would make things a lot easier and tech probably wouldn't have bothered to push so hard at his defenses.
too late for that now, though. he feels mushy. like someone poked at his center too much and it turned into goo. he's been touched before, obviously, but it feels so much intense. there's another soft sound as tech skirts the horn, effectively confirmation that he wasn't bothered so much as unsure. he's been touched before, but never like this.
the addition of horns and claws doesn't affect other places, which were always vulnerable. nails nudge at his nape and he shudders. he'd deny it to his grave, but yes, this was what humanity looked like for seto kaiba. and the more tech dares to do as no one else did, to go where no one else had, the more he melts. a happy cat, purring for its master.
he almost seems sleepy. his words are soft, softer than they ever should be.]
Fuck me.
[well, that answers that. kind of hard to misinterpret.]
I want it. I'm just going to...
[hurt you otherwise. with horns, with claws, with both. he doesn't trust himself.]
[ Well. Tech's not going to argue that delectable invitation. His answer is a nonverbal of course as he returns to Kaiba's lips, softness not leaving entirely but bleeding into desire now. This will be a much different experience from their other times, no doubt. Because that's just how it is -- neither of them could really express their feelings so they fucked them instead.
Hands draw back from Kaiba's horns in order to move to his shirt and work at those buttons. They pop open one by one until the fabric parts and his hands can sweep across the smooth curves of Kaiba's chest -- an appreciative, adoring touch. In both their previous times together, he never got a chance to savor things and admire Kaiba the way he deserved to be admired.
Perfect. His touch says as it wanders the dips and curves of lithe muscle. Perfect. His fingers claim as they skim around to Kaiba's back, gliding along his spine. Perfect. They reiterate if they meet any flaws or scars because Tech can't see any part of Kaiba as anything other than perfect.
His mouth veers off of Kaiba's lips and he rolls to straddle him, mouth finding the curve of his neck and kissing along it while his hands move in to try and sweep the remaining fabric of the shirt aside. Off. He wants it off. They need to be stripped bare. Nude and facing one another. He wants to look into Kaiba's eyes while they do this, wants to savor everything about this shining moment of humanity.
Tech pauses his kisses just long enough to disappear into his shirt, ball it up, and toss it somewhere off the bed. No place for it here. Then, he dives right back into what he was doing -- mouth gracing Kaiba's collarbone and right at the center of it, he invites skin into lips to suck on until a nice little red mark blossoms -- easily hidden by a shirt collar, but still ever present. A sly glance is flickered toward Kaiba's face because for at least a few days, he doesn't want Kaiba to forget this. He doesn't want Kaiba to forget him.
Because for as much as he's Kaiba's....Kaiba is also his. ]
[it takes some shifting around, but eventually kaiba fluffs up enough pillows that he can rest on his back without gutting his own sheets. or tech boy.
not that he has much time to adjust anyway. a strange authoritativeness sweeps over tech like a shroud. maybe it was that godhood, he thinks, watching through eyes that are the slightest bit wider as he's relieved of his shirt. and of course he isn't shy; that isn't the issue. he's attractive and he knows it. he hasn't felt ugly since he was a child.
he just doesn't know if he's done this before. he doesn't know if he's ever let anyone else have this sort of control. even with older men, he made it clear he was in charge. he took what he wanted and then threw them away. oftentimes, they were even fired for not living up to expectations. but tech seems so sure of himself, he wonders how he missed it. his muscles twitch at every touch and he leans into it, greedy for more. desperate to be worshiped, to be told how perfect he was -- even if his ego definitely didn't need it.
he's attractive. all of japan knows it. tech knows it too. he should have shied away from contact to delicate places but paradoxically he wants his hands there the most. his legs part obligingly, offering no resistance. eventually his arms find something to do, encircling tech's head. they could hurt him. they could really hurt him. but instead, he just holds him in place, so he can't look up and see how weak he must seem. no, he won't forget. he never forgets a face. and he won't forget something that will haunt him forever.
even so, he's relaxed. as much as he could ever be. breathing low and slow and falling victim to the moment.]
[ His tongue graces his mark and Tech spreads his kisses casually along Kaiba's torso. With the hand pressed to his head, he can't look up so clearly he must keep looking down. Like taking a scenic tour, his mouth strolls across skin, wanders across Kaiba's pectoral muscle, nips at his nipple and then moves onward -- across his abdomen, tender kisses bathe every curve with attention.
His hands move on to Kaiba's pants, blindly working them open -- an action he could do in his sleep by this point. So often he's prying them apart with eagerness, but this time it's slow, careful -- every action deliberate to keep Kaiba in this state of relaxation he deserves.
After everything he has faced, Kaiba's earned this -- a chance to sit back and turn off his mind and just enjoy the moment. A chance to lower his guard. A chance to trust. Tech doesn't allow any of his usual impatience to intervene, his pace steady and even, as much reassurance as it is a promise to not overstep. Kaiba might be an atheist, but Tech Boy is still his god. And sometimes it's a god's job to heal and bestow mercy.
As he draws Kaiba's pants down as best as he can around his hips, Tech's mouth moves in to the pelvic bone, raining kisses across it before drawing slowly inward. This time, he doesn't take Kaiba straight down his throat, but spreads kisses across the length of him, only at that point allowing eyes to flicker up toward Kaiba's face as he gently takes him in his mouth, just the tip -- tongue swirling around him. Mine, his expression reads, a silently staked claim.
Perhaps he should be worried about the wave of feelings that are crashing and receding over him, but in this moment, there's no confusion, nothing other than Seto Kaiba -- flooding all five of his senses. ]
[must have missed that too, how outrageously good tech boy was at this.
he almost feels guilty. he's a workaholic, after all, and that applied to every aspect of his life. so it almost feels like he should be working harder, that he should be doing something other than lying back and... well, lying back. it's also at least a little embarrassing, how aroused he was already, tenting his pants long before they slide off his hips.
but not too much. easing his hold, he slides his belt out of the way, pupils noticeably dilated as they center on tech and what was inevitably going to happen. and when it does, he sighs in immense relief. in fact, he's not sure he's ever been so relieved in all his life. tech offers mercy and he takes it, simple as that. he just can't fight it anymore.
though he will fight off moans, biting his lip so hard it nearly bleeds.]
Don't be unfair...
[rich words from seto "will fuck you over" kaiba. not that he does anything to stop him, arching to try and bury himself deeper.]
Fucking godjobs.
[he's going to trademark that later, thanks for asking.]
Didn't you get mad at me last time for swallowing it down without warning?
[ Amusement remains as he goes right back in, slowly inching Kaiba's cock between his lips and only allowing him in as far as his mouth can take him, then drawing back and repeating. Each time he lets him in a little deeper than the last -- but never fully down his throat. He's saving that for later.
He carries on this way for a few minutes before drawing back to look up again, his head tilting toward the night stand. ]
The lube. Is it still third drawer down to the left?
[ Another part of his mercy is making sure Kaiba is nice, prepped and ready. If they are really doing this, if Kaiba's really allowing this, then Tech's going to make it as easy for him as possible. Aggression didn't really have a place here -- at least not in the beginning. They both usually had a difficult time controlling themselves in the height of the pleasure, but they'll cross that bridge when they get there.... ]
[in which case, he was in good company. maybe they were just an infuriating pair of people.
he doesn't have much time to dwell on it, however, as tech does his damnedest to swallow him up. and he does work harder in the sense he has to hold himself back, has to keep from choking him. because there's a lot to choke on and he may or may not be a little hornier than usual, all thanks to that earlier attention.
his claws tear at the sheets, just a little. but that was fine. better linen than flesh. tech was infuriating, but he definitely didn't deserve that.]
...yeah. I think so.
[thinking was also a little harder than usual. though he was thinking ahead, as he was wont to do, about his fingers and where they were going.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
he watches tech snap out his funk and it does please him on some level. he was positively insufferable whenever he got himself into a sulk, but borderline brilliant whenever those gears began to turn and he started to plot at warpspeed. because he hadn't lied, he really was capable of amazing things. master of the only religion he would ever abide.
it also gets him to forget about those two horns on his head, at least for a while.]
You are kind of a weakling. No offense.
[he thinks on it a moment longer, then declares with all his usual finality:]
Alright then. Assuming it's a straightforward solution, you can come along.
[what's the worst thing that could happen? he'd cling even harder? no harder than this, he thinks.]
no subject
I've been anchored to the US for so long, it'll be nice to get a change of pace -- see Japan.
[ He shifts something in his programming to briefly talk in Japanese. ]
I can switch up languages, no problem. [ And back to English. ] So adapting will be a no brainer. I look forward to getting the grand tour of Kaiba Corp.
[ A softer smile. ]
And meeting Mokuba, so I can tell him all about how fucking cool his big brother was. The G-rated version. [ Wink. ]
no subject
You'll have to bone up on your manners. Funny as dropping f-bombs might be, it's not really how we do things over there.
[not even seto kaiba could get away with doing that. or he could, but he'd lose a lot of business.
but maybe this was for the best. it would keep tech quiet and he would no longer hear him harp and whine and bitch and moan about how mean he had been on any given day, at least not so much. he seemed satisfied and that's about all he can expect from such a flighty god. and he's satisfied too, if only in a selfish sense, always seeking efficiency.
the hold on his chin loosens, one of his hands pulling out a length of hair with distaste.]
And get a better haircut. No street thugs on my payroll.
no subject
[ He wrinkles his nose when Kaiba tugs out a piece of hair. Like.....seriously??? The guy has seen Yugi and he's going to harp on his look? Geesh! ]
Uh, my appearance is digital. Thank you. I can change it on a whim. When my powers are running top shape. They don't here, obviously.
[ His hand drapes across his own stomach, fingers drumming against it. ]
But like if I'm on your payroll, you gonna expect me to call you Kaiba-sama outside the bedroom, too?
no subject
'fraid so. If you're running my server, it means you're one of my employees. And no employee gets to call me anything else, not on the job.
[with one critical exception, which he details with relish.]
Mokuba acts as my vice president and uses nii-sama. Honored elder brother. So I'm "honored" in every role and every capacity.
no subject
[ He glances over at Kaiba, flashing him an approving smile. ]
Tell you what, though. When you bust your way out of hell, you'll earn the name. I'll call you Kaiba-sama all day and night. Cause that server's running 'round the clock, baby.
[ His index finger extends and makes a slow clock-wise motion. ]
Most secure network the world over. Between the two of us, no one will be hacking into your shit. Feels like we need a drink to toast to this merger.
[ With a laugh, he turns to face Kaiba again, chin resting coyly on his palm. ]
Don't suppose you have a bottle of something stashed here, do you?
no subject
[though if he wanted to, he wouldn't stop him. maybe. possibly.
he knows very well what he's referring to but decides to play dumb, mirroring the move so they just looked like a pair of gossiping schoolgirls, batting lashes at each other. an exceedingly rare seto kaiba maneuver, executed only when he was being deliberately dense. usually to annoy the other person.]
What, hard liquor? Because I've got a headache now, which I can only assume is because of you.
no subject
[ Deliberately spoken with a deliberately obnoxious grin. Gaze veers from Kaiba's eyes to his lips and then sweeps toward the horns, which could be the cause of a very literal headache. Expression morphs into concern. ]
You can go back to sleep if you want. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I wouldn't have. But Kisara wanted me here, so clearly I have to stay. As per dragon's orders. I don't make the rules. Sorry.
[ He smiles, not at all sorry. Not one bit. Inching closer, he presses his lips to Kaiba's -- perhaps in further reassurance that he doesn't care about the horns or the claws, but mostly because he wants to kiss him. ]
no subject
and he doesn't buy for two seconds that he could just roll over and go back to sleep, so proven when the obnoxious brownnoser in his bed slinks ahead again and snatches up his mouth. he tenses, because even if tech was sure of himself, that didn't mean the man with the horns felt the same. it didn't mean he could just pick up where they last left off.
he doesn't refuse him. but he doesn't welcome him either. yet again a flash of the young man he truly was, not quite as confident as he claimed to be.]
no subject
You're still downright fucking majestic, you know. I mean, fuck. Even when you were a dragon. If that had lasted any longer, I guess I would have learned how to take a spiked dick.
[ He laughs a little, pulling back further so he can make eye contact. ]
Nothing changes because no matter how much they alter you...
[ His index finger comes up to press to the center of Kaiba's forehead between those horns. It's gentle, just in case the entire area is sore to the touch. ]
...this remains the same. Same keen fucking mind powering it all. It's your mind that attracts me the most. I just want you to know that.
no subject
You can't just...
[...but he winds up trailing off, because not even he was sure where he was going with it.
his hand twitches, then turns upward, finding the tip of a horn. it's the first time he's touched one with anything less than derision. actually, it's the first time he's ever doubted his own appearance. not since gozaburo, anyway, when he was called ugly and useless and a thousand other terrible things -- all as a vulnerable child who broke beneath it.]
You're just in love with the idea of being loved. It's why gods are so weak.
[but it is, in truth, a weak retort. barely muttered under breath.]
Worship sustains you, and without it, you die.
no subject
I don't need you, Kaiba. The type of worship that gets me by isn't what we do. I get power from people being glued to their phones. Worship funnels in with every social media post, every disgusting, self-validating selfie, every time someone jerks off to niche pornography. Even in this place where there's barely any tech around, I can still get by because people still have the network. There are still people around who worship the devices that are part of my kingdom. I'm better than the other gods because of it.
[ His other hand comes up, residing on Kaiba's other cheek -- cupping his face. ]
I'm here because I want to be. If this was about sustaining me, I'd be in bed with your duel disk. Not you. It's you I want, independent of all that. You're the only one worthy of the attention of a god in all of this place. Is it really so hard to believe there's no hidden agenda? Because here's the simple truth, Kaiba. Being around you makes me happy.
[ His lips pinch and he shrugs as though to say: simple as that. ]
no subject
everything had its price. nobody did anything for free. relationships were transactional; sex was just a distraction, as he himself said. no one really liked any one else. they just pretended to feel that way, just to see what they'd get out of it. it's why human beings were so miserable and pathetic, even if he would always preach their value over gods.
they were also terribly stubborn. it shows in his eyes, as if he intended to fight, but then it dies down again. as if it never were.]
I see.
[he gives up. he surrenders. his face sinks into his hold. his eyes shut.]
Then I'll let you be happy. Just this once.
no subject
He smiles, watching as Kaiba settles into his grasp and he preserves this moment in his mind -- a picture to remember for eternity. ]
You know it won't be just this once. You won't even know you're doing it.
[ He teases even knowing it's a lie. Of course Kaiba will know. Kaiba is so incredibly perceptive, always be able to read Tech's moods. ]
What is a god to a nonbeliever? I'd say something imaginary. A fairy tale or myth. A good fictional story. But...
[ He inches closer, his mouth drawing near Kaiba's lips. ]
What am I to you? A powerful ally, a handy tool, a weapon -- all at your disposal. A great business partner who is going to see you through to success time and time again. Mainly...
[ A beat. ]
I'm yours.
[ And that's when he closes in for a second kiss. ]
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but he does know it won't be just this once. he would get tired again. he's tired all the time, if he's being honest with himself. if one other person saw it, then that was fine. even if they went back together, which he very much doubts because he was a skeptic by trade, he would be no different from any other employee. just a particularly gifted one.
he's just tired. that's fine. he's already in bed anyway. maybe he planned for this all along.]
Something imaginary...
[no, he wants to say, that's not true at all. people were real. and they would be the last creatures to inhabit the earth, long after gods were gone.
he realizes, belatedly, that he doesn't have a name quite yet. not the one he promised. he'll have to think a bit harder, because if they did go back together, he couldn't call him something silly like tech. it would have to be something human. something to suit the sorry truth that he would never believe in him, because he never believed in anyone else.
what was he? well...]
Something sad and lonely. Some unpatchable exploit.
[...well, maybe that applied to them both. but he'd never tell.
he allows himself to be kissed this time, holds onto him this time -- mine.]
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Maybe that has something to do with that 'sad and lonely' bit. But the nice thing about being with Kaiba is that it doesn't feel lonely. It's about the only time he feels stable these days. Even pockets of dissonance often find resonance the more time they spend with each other.
One hand falls away from Kaiba's face to wrap around his shoulders and draw himself in closer. The other hand chances slipping up into Kaiba's hair and trailing along the smooth curve of his horn. soft and easy so as to not bring him pain. The message behind the touch clearly being it doesn't make you less than. And if that doesn't translate, he murmurs against his lips. ]
Still perfect.
[ And then back into the kiss he lands, his tongue playfully lapping across Kaiba's lower lip to request entrance. ]
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he does mind his horns and claws. he has to be careful, has to move more cautiously so he doesn't stab or jab his partner. that's different too. he doesn't know his own limits, which was a weird place to be for someone who frequently preached they had none. he leans into his grip and makes a soft sound when tech grazes the tough chitin of a horn.
it's not displeased, not at all. quite the opposite, he's just sensitive.]
Don't.
[it's another read between the lines moment. of course he doesn't want him to stop. he's just navigating foreign territory.]
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But Tech's not afraid.
Fingertips wander back down along the underside of Kaiba's horn, not once parting from the kiss in this blind exploration. The hand at his shoulders creeps up to brush along the back of his neck, fingers threading in his hair. In spite of the changes, this seems to be a rare glimpse into the human side of Seto Kaiba -- something he did his best to keep at bay, something hidden from the world more often than not. And Tech Boy finds himself enamored by it -- moreso than most of the other facets of Kaiba's personality.
This is rare. This is the reward for two months of persistence. This is a degree of trust that Kaiba probably so rarely gives, and Tech Boy treasures this. It's the most valuable thing he's earned in this place by far.
Slowly, he moves back from Kaiba's lips just to look at him -- to drink in his expression and offer him a warm smile. ]
We don't have to fuck... [ Not the most tactful thing to say. But hear him out here -- he's not the best at talking about emotions. ] I'm fine with just this.
[ His arms around Kaiba, slow and languid kisses. What he's trying to say is that it's not all about sex. And if Kaiba's too drained, either physically or emotionally, they can just kiss until he got too tired and then fall asleep. ]
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too late for that now, though. he feels mushy. like someone poked at his center too much and it turned into goo. he's been touched before, obviously, but it feels so much intense. there's another soft sound as tech skirts the horn, effectively confirmation that he wasn't bothered so much as unsure. he's been touched before, but never like this.
the addition of horns and claws doesn't affect other places, which were always vulnerable. nails nudge at his nape and he shudders. he'd deny it to his grave, but yes, this was what humanity looked like for seto kaiba. and the more tech dares to do as no one else did, to go where no one else had, the more he melts. a happy cat, purring for its master.
he almost seems sleepy. his words are soft, softer than they ever should be.]
Fuck me.
[well, that answers that. kind of hard to misinterpret.]
I want it. I'm just going to...
[hurt you otherwise. with horns, with claws, with both. he doesn't trust himself.]
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Hands draw back from Kaiba's horns in order to move to his shirt and work at those buttons. They pop open one by one until the fabric parts and his hands can sweep across the smooth curves of Kaiba's chest -- an appreciative, adoring touch. In both their previous times together, he never got a chance to savor things and admire Kaiba the way he deserved to be admired.
Perfect. His touch says as it wanders the dips and curves of lithe muscle. Perfect. His fingers claim as they skim around to Kaiba's back, gliding along his spine. Perfect. They reiterate if they meet any flaws or scars because Tech can't see any part of Kaiba as anything other than perfect.
His mouth veers off of Kaiba's lips and he rolls to straddle him, mouth finding the curve of his neck and kissing along it while his hands move in to try and sweep the remaining fabric of the shirt aside. Off. He wants it off. They need to be stripped bare. Nude and facing one another. He wants to look into Kaiba's eyes while they do this, wants to savor everything about this shining moment of humanity.
Tech pauses his kisses just long enough to disappear into his shirt, ball it up, and toss it somewhere off the bed. No place for it here. Then, he dives right back into what he was doing -- mouth gracing Kaiba's collarbone and right at the center of it, he invites skin into lips to suck on until a nice little red mark blossoms -- easily hidden by a shirt collar, but still ever present. A sly glance is flickered toward Kaiba's face because for at least a few days, he doesn't want Kaiba to forget this. He doesn't want Kaiba to forget him.
Because for as much as he's Kaiba's....Kaiba is also his. ]
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not that he has much time to adjust anyway. a strange authoritativeness sweeps over tech like a shroud. maybe it was that godhood, he thinks, watching through eyes that are the slightest bit wider as he's relieved of his shirt. and of course he isn't shy; that isn't the issue. he's attractive and he knows it. he hasn't felt ugly since he was a child.
he just doesn't know if he's done this before. he doesn't know if he's ever let anyone else have this sort of control. even with older men, he made it clear he was in charge. he took what he wanted and then threw them away. oftentimes, they were even fired for not living up to expectations. but tech seems so sure of himself, he wonders how he missed it. his muscles twitch at every touch and he leans into it, greedy for more. desperate to be worshiped, to be told how perfect he was -- even if his ego definitely didn't need it.
he's attractive. all of japan knows it. tech knows it too. he should have shied away from contact to delicate places but paradoxically he wants his hands there the most. his legs part obligingly, offering no resistance. eventually his arms find something to do, encircling tech's head. they could hurt him. they could really hurt him. but instead, he just holds him in place, so he can't look up and see how weak he must seem. no, he won't forget. he never forgets a face. and he won't forget something that will haunt him forever.
even so, he's relaxed. as much as he could ever be. breathing low and slow and falling victim to the moment.]
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His hands move on to Kaiba's pants, blindly working them open -- an action he could do in his sleep by this point. So often he's prying them apart with eagerness, but this time it's slow, careful -- every action deliberate to keep Kaiba in this state of relaxation he deserves.
After everything he has faced, Kaiba's earned this -- a chance to sit back and turn off his mind and just enjoy the moment. A chance to lower his guard. A chance to trust. Tech doesn't allow any of his usual impatience to intervene, his pace steady and even, as much reassurance as it is a promise to not overstep. Kaiba might be an atheist, but Tech Boy is still his god. And sometimes it's a god's job to heal and bestow mercy.
As he draws Kaiba's pants down as best as he can around his hips, Tech's mouth moves in to the pelvic bone, raining kisses across it before drawing slowly inward. This time, he doesn't take Kaiba straight down his throat, but spreads kisses across the length of him, only at that point allowing eyes to flicker up toward Kaiba's face as he gently takes him in his mouth, just the tip -- tongue swirling around him. Mine, his expression reads, a silently staked claim.
Perhaps he should be worried about the wave of feelings that are crashing and receding over him, but in this moment, there's no confusion, nothing other than Seto Kaiba -- flooding all five of his senses. ]
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he almost feels guilty. he's a workaholic, after all, and that applied to every aspect of his life. so it almost feels like he should be working harder, that he should be doing something other than lying back and... well, lying back. it's also at least a little embarrassing, how aroused he was already, tenting his pants long before they slide off his hips.
but not too much. easing his hold, he slides his belt out of the way, pupils noticeably dilated as they center on tech and what was inevitably going to happen. and when it does, he sighs in immense relief. in fact, he's not sure he's ever been so relieved in all his life. tech offers mercy and he takes it, simple as that. he just can't fight it anymore.
though he will fight off moans, biting his lip so hard it nearly bleeds.]
Don't be unfair...
[rich words from seto "will fuck you over" kaiba. not that he does anything to stop him, arching to try and bury himself deeper.]
Fucking godjobs.
[he's going to trademark that later, thanks for asking.]
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Didn't you get mad at me last time for swallowing it down without warning?
[ Amusement remains as he goes right back in, slowly inching Kaiba's cock between his lips and only allowing him in as far as his mouth can take him, then drawing back and repeating. Each time he lets him in a little deeper than the last -- but never fully down his throat. He's saving that for later.
He carries on this way for a few minutes before drawing back to look up again, his head tilting toward the night stand. ]
The lube. Is it still third drawer down to the left?
[ Another part of his mercy is making sure Kaiba is nice, prepped and ready. If they are really doing this, if Kaiba's really allowing this, then Tech's going to make it as easy for him as possible. Aggression didn't really have a place here -- at least not in the beginning. They both usually had a difficult time controlling themselves in the height of the pleasure, but they'll cross that bridge when they get there.... ]
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You always infuriate me.
[in which case, he was in good company. maybe they were just an infuriating pair of people.
he doesn't have much time to dwell on it, however, as tech does his damnedest to swallow him up. and he does work harder in the sense he has to hold himself back, has to keep from choking him. because there's a lot to choke on and he may or may not be a little hornier than usual, all thanks to that earlier attention.
his claws tear at the sheets, just a little. but that was fine. better linen than flesh. tech was infuriating, but he definitely didn't deserve that.]
...yeah. I think so.
[thinking was also a little harder than usual. though he was thinking ahead, as he was wont to do, about his fingers and where they were going.]
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fin~