[he's not often given cause to turn red, but that just about does it. huffing, he starts to protest...]
You can't just...
[...but he winds up trailing off, because not even he was sure where he was going with it.
his hand twitches, then turns upward, finding the tip of a horn. it's the first time he's touched one with anything less than derision. actually, it's the first time he's ever doubted his own appearance. not since gozaburo, anyway, when he was called ugly and useless and a thousand other terrible things -- all as a vulnerable child who broke beneath it.]
You're just in love with the idea of being loved. It's why gods are so weak.
[but it is, in truth, a weak retort. barely muttered under breath.]
[ His eyes follow Kaiba's hand at his horn, thumb gracing over his cheek. This is the second time Kaiba's brought up love, and Tech doesn't know where this idea has come from -- to intermingle love and worship. After the mess with Monika, he wants nothing to do with love. He doesn't even believe it's a real concept -- just a lie people tell themselves when they mean something else. Lust, predominantly. ]
I don't need you, Kaiba. The type of worship that gets me by isn't what we do. I get power from people being glued to their phones. Worship funnels in with every social media post, every disgusting, self-validating selfie, every time someone jerks off to niche pornography. Even in this place where there's barely any tech around, I can still get by because people still have the network. There are still people around who worship the devices that are part of my kingdom. I'm better than the other gods because of it.
[ His other hand comes up, residing on Kaiba's other cheek -- cupping his face. ]
I'm here because I want to be. If this was about sustaining me, I'd be in bed with your duel disk. Not you. It's you I want, independent of all that. You're the only one worthy of the attention of a god in all of this place. Is it really so hard to believe there's no hidden agenda? Because here's the simple truth, Kaiba. Being around you makes me happy.
[ His lips pinch and he shrugs as though to say: simple as that. ]
[that's simple: the idea comes from a place of such irreversible hurt that he simply cannot contemplate the concept of it. not what it really looks like, not outside his own family.
everything had its price. nobody did anything for free. relationships were transactional; sex was just a distraction, as he himself said. no one really liked any one else. they just pretended to feel that way, just to see what they'd get out of it. it's why human beings were so miserable and pathetic, even if he would always preach their value over gods.
they were also terribly stubborn. it shows in his eyes, as if he intended to fight, but then it dies down again. as if it never were.]
I see.
[he gives up. he surrenders. his face sinks into his hold. his eyes shut.]
[ This relationship has been and continues to be a journey. The dissonance is beginning to mellow, which might simply be circumstantial -- Kaiba has gone through a lot these past few weeks, but Tech Boy sees it as progression. They're finding a balance on this teetering scale.
He smiles, watching as Kaiba settles into his grasp and he preserves this moment in his mind -- a picture to remember for eternity. ]
You know it won't be just this once. You won't even know you're doing it.
[ He teases even knowing it's a lie. Of course Kaiba will know. Kaiba is so incredibly perceptive, always be able to read Tech's moods. ]
What is a god to a nonbeliever? I'd say something imaginary. A fairy tale or myth. A good fictional story. But...
[ He inches closer, his mouth drawing near Kaiba's lips. ]
What am I to you? A powerful ally, a handy tool, a weapon -- all at your disposal. A great business partner who is going to see you through to success time and time again. Mainly...
[ A beat. ]
I'm yours.
[ And that's when he closes in for a second kiss. ]
[he's just tired, that's all. so he'd tell himself. it was just a moment of weakness, which every man had. nothing more to it than that.
but he does know it won't be just this once. he would get tired again. he's tired all the time, if he's being honest with himself. if one other person saw it, then that was fine. even if they went back together, which he very much doubts because he was a skeptic by trade, he would be no different from any other employee. just a particularly gifted one.
he's just tired. that's fine. he's already in bed anyway. maybe he planned for this all along.]
Something imaginary...
[no, he wants to say, that's not true at all. people were real. and they would be the last creatures to inhabit the earth, long after gods were gone.
he realizes, belatedly, that he doesn't have a name quite yet. not the one he promised. he'll have to think a bit harder, because if they did go back together, he couldn't call him something silly like tech. it would have to be something human. something to suit the sorry truth that he would never believe in him, because he never believed in anyone else.
what was he? well...]
Something sad and lonely. Some unpatchable exploit.
[...well, maybe that applied to them both. but he'd never tell.
he allows himself to be kissed this time, holds onto him this time -- mine.]
[ This kiss hits different, not fueled by the flames of passion like many of the others. It's slow-moving, exhausted, but there to paint a very clear picture, at least on Tech Boy's behalf. Kaiba is still worthy. Kaiba is still the only man worthy. Horns, claws, full on dragon features be damned. Tech would still be here, no matter how Kaiba's outward appearance changed.
Maybe that has something to do with that 'sad and lonely' bit. But the nice thing about being with Kaiba is that it doesn't feel lonely. It's about the only time he feels stable these days. Even pockets of dissonance often find resonance the more time they spend with each other.
One hand falls away from Kaiba's face to wrap around his shoulders and draw himself in closer. The other hand chances slipping up into Kaiba's hair and trailing along the smooth curve of his horn. soft and easy so as to not bring him pain. The message behind the touch clearly being it doesn't make you less than. And if that doesn't translate, he murmurs against his lips. ]
Still perfect.
[ And then back into the kiss he lands, his tongue playfully lapping across Kaiba's lower lip to request entrance. ]
[it definitely hits different. because he has his guard down, because tech lured him into a sense of security. not false, he would hope, but it doesn't matter anyway because he's not really thinking about it. he's never been allowed to be a teenager, to act his own age, but there's flashes of it here. glimpses of desperation in how furiously he kisses back.
he does mind his horns and claws. he has to be careful, has to move more cautiously so he doesn't stab or jab his partner. that's different too. he doesn't know his own limits, which was a weird place to be for someone who frequently preached they had none. he leans into his grip and makes a soft sound when tech grazes the tough chitin of a horn.
it's not displeased, not at all. quite the opposite, he's just sensitive.]
Don't.
[it's another read between the lines moment. of course he doesn't want him to stop. he's just navigating foreign territory.]
[ It doesn't sound like a word of warning -- that simple don't. So Tech doesn't take it as one. It amazes him, in fact, that Kaiba can feel the touch -- that there are apparently nerve endings in these horns and they respond to even a soothing caress. His hand wanders all the way to the end, toward the pointed tip that could do real damage if snagged or used to gore. The exterior is tough, durable and dangerous. Reflective of the man he's kissing, actually.
But Tech's not afraid.
Fingertips wander back down along the underside of Kaiba's horn, not once parting from the kiss in this blind exploration. The hand at his shoulders creeps up to brush along the back of his neck, fingers threading in his hair. In spite of the changes, this seems to be a rare glimpse into the human side of Seto Kaiba -- something he did his best to keep at bay, something hidden from the world more often than not. And Tech Boy finds himself enamored by it -- moreso than most of the other facets of Kaiba's personality.
This is rare. This is the reward for two months of persistence. This is a degree of trust that Kaiba probably so rarely gives, and Tech Boy treasures this. It's the most valuable thing he's earned in this place by far.
Slowly, he moves back from Kaiba's lips just to look at him -- to drink in his expression and offer him a warm smile. ]
We don't have to fuck... [ Not the most tactful thing to say. But hear him out here -- he's not the best at talking about emotions. ] I'm fine with just this.
[ His arms around Kaiba, slow and languid kisses. What he's trying to say is that it's not all about sex. And if Kaiba's too drained, either physically or emotionally, they can just kiss until he got too tired and then fall asleep. ]
[he kind of wishes that he was afraid. it would make things a lot easier and tech probably wouldn't have bothered to push so hard at his defenses.
too late for that now, though. he feels mushy. like someone poked at his center too much and it turned into goo. he's been touched before, obviously, but it feels so much intense. there's another soft sound as tech skirts the horn, effectively confirmation that he wasn't bothered so much as unsure. he's been touched before, but never like this.
the addition of horns and claws doesn't affect other places, which were always vulnerable. nails nudge at his nape and he shudders. he'd deny it to his grave, but yes, this was what humanity looked like for seto kaiba. and the more tech dares to do as no one else did, to go where no one else had, the more he melts. a happy cat, purring for its master.
he almost seems sleepy. his words are soft, softer than they ever should be.]
Fuck me.
[well, that answers that. kind of hard to misinterpret.]
I want it. I'm just going to...
[hurt you otherwise. with horns, with claws, with both. he doesn't trust himself.]
[ Well. Tech's not going to argue that delectable invitation. His answer is a nonverbal of course as he returns to Kaiba's lips, softness not leaving entirely but bleeding into desire now. This will be a much different experience from their other times, no doubt. Because that's just how it is -- neither of them could really express their feelings so they fucked them instead.
Hands draw back from Kaiba's horns in order to move to his shirt and work at those buttons. They pop open one by one until the fabric parts and his hands can sweep across the smooth curves of Kaiba's chest -- an appreciative, adoring touch. In both their previous times together, he never got a chance to savor things and admire Kaiba the way he deserved to be admired.
Perfect. His touch says as it wanders the dips and curves of lithe muscle. Perfect. His fingers claim as they skim around to Kaiba's back, gliding along his spine. Perfect. They reiterate if they meet any flaws or scars because Tech can't see any part of Kaiba as anything other than perfect.
His mouth veers off of Kaiba's lips and he rolls to straddle him, mouth finding the curve of his neck and kissing along it while his hands move in to try and sweep the remaining fabric of the shirt aside. Off. He wants it off. They need to be stripped bare. Nude and facing one another. He wants to look into Kaiba's eyes while they do this, wants to savor everything about this shining moment of humanity.
Tech pauses his kisses just long enough to disappear into his shirt, ball it up, and toss it somewhere off the bed. No place for it here. Then, he dives right back into what he was doing -- mouth gracing Kaiba's collarbone and right at the center of it, he invites skin into lips to suck on until a nice little red mark blossoms -- easily hidden by a shirt collar, but still ever present. A sly glance is flickered toward Kaiba's face because for at least a few days, he doesn't want Kaiba to forget this. He doesn't want Kaiba to forget him.
Because for as much as he's Kaiba's....Kaiba is also his. ]
[it takes some shifting around, but eventually kaiba fluffs up enough pillows that he can rest on his back without gutting his own sheets. or tech boy.
not that he has much time to adjust anyway. a strange authoritativeness sweeps over tech like a shroud. maybe it was that godhood, he thinks, watching through eyes that are the slightest bit wider as he's relieved of his shirt. and of course he isn't shy; that isn't the issue. he's attractive and he knows it. he hasn't felt ugly since he was a child.
he just doesn't know if he's done this before. he doesn't know if he's ever let anyone else have this sort of control. even with older men, he made it clear he was in charge. he took what he wanted and then threw them away. oftentimes, they were even fired for not living up to expectations. but tech seems so sure of himself, he wonders how he missed it. his muscles twitch at every touch and he leans into it, greedy for more. desperate to be worshiped, to be told how perfect he was -- even if his ego definitely didn't need it.
he's attractive. all of japan knows it. tech knows it too. he should have shied away from contact to delicate places but paradoxically he wants his hands there the most. his legs part obligingly, offering no resistance. eventually his arms find something to do, encircling tech's head. they could hurt him. they could really hurt him. but instead, he just holds him in place, so he can't look up and see how weak he must seem. no, he won't forget. he never forgets a face. and he won't forget something that will haunt him forever.
even so, he's relaxed. as much as he could ever be. breathing low and slow and falling victim to the moment.]
[ His tongue graces his mark and Tech spreads his kisses casually along Kaiba's torso. With the hand pressed to his head, he can't look up so clearly he must keep looking down. Like taking a scenic tour, his mouth strolls across skin, wanders across Kaiba's pectoral muscle, nips at his nipple and then moves onward -- across his abdomen, tender kisses bathe every curve with attention.
His hands move on to Kaiba's pants, blindly working them open -- an action he could do in his sleep by this point. So often he's prying them apart with eagerness, but this time it's slow, careful -- every action deliberate to keep Kaiba in this state of relaxation he deserves.
After everything he has faced, Kaiba's earned this -- a chance to sit back and turn off his mind and just enjoy the moment. A chance to lower his guard. A chance to trust. Tech doesn't allow any of his usual impatience to intervene, his pace steady and even, as much reassurance as it is a promise to not overstep. Kaiba might be an atheist, but Tech Boy is still his god. And sometimes it's a god's job to heal and bestow mercy.
As he draws Kaiba's pants down as best as he can around his hips, Tech's mouth moves in to the pelvic bone, raining kisses across it before drawing slowly inward. This time, he doesn't take Kaiba straight down his throat, but spreads kisses across the length of him, only at that point allowing eyes to flicker up toward Kaiba's face as he gently takes him in his mouth, just the tip -- tongue swirling around him. Mine, his expression reads, a silently staked claim.
Perhaps he should be worried about the wave of feelings that are crashing and receding over him, but in this moment, there's no confusion, nothing other than Seto Kaiba -- flooding all five of his senses. ]
[must have missed that too, how outrageously good tech boy was at this.
he almost feels guilty. he's a workaholic, after all, and that applied to every aspect of his life. so it almost feels like he should be working harder, that he should be doing something other than lying back and... well, lying back. it's also at least a little embarrassing, how aroused he was already, tenting his pants long before they slide off his hips.
but not too much. easing his hold, he slides his belt out of the way, pupils noticeably dilated as they center on tech and what was inevitably going to happen. and when it does, he sighs in immense relief. in fact, he's not sure he's ever been so relieved in all his life. tech offers mercy and he takes it, simple as that. he just can't fight it anymore.
though he will fight off moans, biting his lip so hard it nearly bleeds.]
Don't be unfair...
[rich words from seto "will fuck you over" kaiba. not that he does anything to stop him, arching to try and bury himself deeper.]
Fucking godjobs.
[he's going to trademark that later, thanks for asking.]
Didn't you get mad at me last time for swallowing it down without warning?
[ Amusement remains as he goes right back in, slowly inching Kaiba's cock between his lips and only allowing him in as far as his mouth can take him, then drawing back and repeating. Each time he lets him in a little deeper than the last -- but never fully down his throat. He's saving that for later.
He carries on this way for a few minutes before drawing back to look up again, his head tilting toward the night stand. ]
The lube. Is it still third drawer down to the left?
[ Another part of his mercy is making sure Kaiba is nice, prepped and ready. If they are really doing this, if Kaiba's really allowing this, then Tech's going to make it as easy for him as possible. Aggression didn't really have a place here -- at least not in the beginning. They both usually had a difficult time controlling themselves in the height of the pleasure, but they'll cross that bridge when they get there.... ]
[in which case, he was in good company. maybe they were just an infuriating pair of people.
he doesn't have much time to dwell on it, however, as tech does his damnedest to swallow him up. and he does work harder in the sense he has to hold himself back, has to keep from choking him. because there's a lot to choke on and he may or may not be a little hornier than usual, all thanks to that earlier attention.
his claws tear at the sheets, just a little. but that was fine. better linen than flesh. tech was infuriating, but he definitely didn't deserve that.]
...yeah. I think so.
[thinking was also a little harder than usual. though he was thinking ahead, as he was wont to do, about his fingers and where they were going.]
[ As difficult as it is to part from Kaiba -- and it's always difficult whether before or after sex or even when they're not having sex -- Tech pries himself away. The sooner he gets up, the sooner he can return. In the meantime, he uses it as an opportunity to shed the rest of his clothing, stripping his way toward the nightstand so he can go in and seek out the lube.
He plucks it out of its place with the grin of someone unearthing a hidden treasure before he returns to the bed and puts himself right back where he was -- this time fully nude and so very ready. But even in spite of his own arousal, he maintains his patience, maintains that casual pace, and still puts Kaiba's pleasure ahead of his own needs -- palms massaging along his torso, almost reverent, adoring. ]
Part of you must like it when I get under your skin.
[ He grins, opening the bottle and pouring some oil onto his palm. Hands rub together with particular attention paid to the fingers of his right hand, and then he goes back in, his mouth returning to Kaiba's length while at the same time a finger finds the heat of his entrance. And all at once, he plunges all the way -- Kaiba's beautifully curved arousal swallowed down as deep as can be while his finger slides within him.
It brings a shudder down his own spine. Kaiba feels exquisite. ]
[he has to look away. it really was too embarrassing that time, watching someone who was so gratuitous in their nakedness.
at least it gives him a moment to brace himself. and to wriggle the rest of the way out of his pants, which was much easier without a bunch of belts and straps to loosen and unbuckle. when tech boy returns, his eyes are dark. black blotting out blue as he shifts again in anticipation. he absolutely has his number and he can't deny it. so he doesn't.]
I like brats.
[more than like, really. as if that weren't obvious enough.
it was also increasingly obvious that he was incredibly sensitive right now and not all that equipped to handle stimulation on multiple fronts. a full body shudder hits him as his head lolls to the side and he cries out. it's a cry he muffles too late, one of his own hands flying to his mouth -- damn it.]
Y-you're going to make me—
[well. he probably doesn't need to finish that sentence.]
[ He draws back at the warning -- his mouth, at least. Tongue gracing the underside of Kaiba's erection from base to tip. And then he meets Kaiba's gaze. ]
You can. If you want. This is all about you, Kaiba. Whatever you want.
[ His fingers continue to make delicate work of Kaiba's entrance, gently stretching and pressing inward. ]
I don't need anything. I just want you to feel good.
[ Does he want something? Of course he does. But he's fought against want and desire many times, especially where Kaiba's concerned. Tech Boy would be fine. More than pleasure, there's just this insatiable need to make Kaiba understand he cares about him. Yours. Mine. Those words mean something -- beyond the heat of the moment. They're a bond. They're loyalty. They're a willingness on Tech Boy's behalf to shove himself in the line of danger for Kaiba and to do everything he can to take his pain away. ]
Can I say something dumb? I know, I know. You'd probably say everything I say is fucking dumb...
[ Fingers push further, as far as they can, and then withdraw -- only to return and add a third. Tech looks down at what he's doing, keeps his eyes locked on it to avoid meeting Kaiba's gaze when he admits: ]
Meeting you was the best thing that's ever happened in my life. And like I'm the internet so that's fucking top praise right there.
[god, this idiot was going to give him an aneurysm. and an orgasm. maybe both at once.]
I already do what I want! Don't tell me what to do!
[and if tech boy ever needed confirmation that this was an adult who was still very much a child at his core, there it was. bratty behavior on full display.
just as he can't remember the last time he fucked someone over a flat surface, he can't remember the last time he got fingers shoved up his ass. at least not so skillfully, which only adds to his aggravation. he starts to squirm, not to get away, but because he didn't want to admit that tech was working him over and in such a thorough fashion.]
Of course it's dumb! And don't tell me "it's all about you!" when you're supposed to want things too! You absolute moron!
[he settles down a little, only to whine and pant at that third finger.]
You're allowed to want things... for yourself. Even if you won't get them. Greed is good.
[ Tech Boy was so very good at playing the part of prey, but he could also be the predator. His movement is quick, free hand striking down against the pillow near Kaiba's head as he gazes down at him -- fingers within never missing a beat, continuing their internal massage. A smirk slithers, serpentine, across his lips. ]
Who says I'm not getting exactly what I want...?
[ Having Kaiba squirm for him, now that is powerful. Having Kaiba respond to his administrations, to be so close to the edge -- every sound he made, every gasped breath that caught in his lungs. That's worship, a semi-silent plea for release -- release only Tech could bring him.
Tech Boy dips in to kiss him, hungry, passionate and wanting. Because Kaiba is right. He does want. And for as much as he wants, he will always want more. And what he wants the most is to be inside of him. Tech's stronger than his urges, he'd be stronger than them for Kaiba's sake. But it sounds like Kaiba doesn't want him to be, so fine. He can be selfish and indulgent. He can take what he wants because it's what they both want. ]
Greed's one of those seven deadly sins.
[ He draws back, wagging a scolding finger. Tsk tsk. The hand within Kaiba slides free so Tech Boy can return to the lubricant, pouring some out and then working it along his own length -- a pleasant sigh escaping his lips, a zip of static pixels racing across his chest. ]
But you're just so fucking cute when you're petulant. So how could I resist?
[ He lifts Kaiba's hips, lines himself up and meets his gaze. The expression playful, but also admiring. How could he ever resist Seto Kaiba? He couldn't when he was with someone else and he definitely couldn't now. His weakness, his strength, his everything.
With a shuddered breath, Tech Boy pushes within. And once he's in all the way, a pleasant burst of electric ripples to tease and stimulate nerve endings to life. Seems he can work that electrostimulation no matter which position he's in. ]
[he's not sure if he feels predated upon, but... well, he definitely won't be doubting his sexual prowess anytime soon. he was good at it, even if he didn't need it.
after that rousing show of rebellion, kaiba settles back down again. he just lets it happen, though he wasn't at all upset. a little miffed, maybe, that he might have misread a few signs, but he lets it happen and keeps his eyes on tech. as he dips down for a kiss, he encircles him, ensnares him, enraptures him. his claws slip down his back, pricking skin.
and he curls his legs around him, welcoming the intrusion. he doesn't prefer this position, finds it vulnerable, but he just lets that happen too. still petulant, still very much the brat, yet one that has offered complete surrender. those legs were strong; it wouldn't take much to crush him. but here they only serve to bring tech as close as possible.
he always forgets about that electricity. and as it shocks him he whines, already feeling himself tip. he gasps against his mouth:]
You're cheating.
[and he really hates that. though in this case, he really loves it too.]
[ Is his cheeky retort. Can't cheat if he's single! Of course he knows what Kaiba's really talking about and he only punctuates it by upping that electric connection. Still a work in progress, learning the right nerves to press. He has an idea which ones are the most sensitive, but it's incredibly difficult to focus. Kaiba just feels so good. A groan hums in his throat as he leans forward to claim Kaiba's lips again -- taking all of the kisses he has been denied in the past for himself. Mine.
As those claws scrape against his skin, he shudders. Tech can see it now -- those claws are going to draw his blood at some point, but he doesn't care. There's no room for care with these incredible sensations washing over him. With Kaiba, it's so easy to lose himself in the moment, and it's exactly what he does now -- hips finding a quick, driving rhythm. Gentleness abandoned. He thrusts deep and claims, pulls back and claims again. Mine, mine, so exquisitely mine.
One hand finds Kaiba's hair, the other seeks out his cock -- both grip and stroke and worship. Fingers seek out one of Kaiba's fresh horns, curling around the smooth surface to reiterate what he set out to prove before. Perfect. Every inch of his man -- from horn to toe. ]
[with technical boy, there was no such thing as a noncheeky retort. he was finding that out the hard way.
and despite being so extraordinarily willful, even he could only hold out for so long. between the electricity, the fingers, and... okay, so maybe he liked his men a bit bigger down south, but this was by no means bad. though some functioning part of his brain vows to take a look at some of his "personal" stats later. solely for the sake of scientific curiosity.
at least he doesn't have to admit any loneliness with his mouth occupied. because he's not lonely, but if by some remote chance that was the truth, he doesn't have to say anything at all. those kisses swallow up sound yet don't completely muffle his increasingly desperate sighs and cries, one sign among many that he was approaching his limit.
even if he wouldn't admit that either. that seto kaiba was a human being with limits, just like everyone else.
he moves just as quickly and easily with tech, breaking off only to warn him:]
Keep going.
[and as usual, it's a warning as well as an order.
an order that will make a lot more sense when he comes and comes hard, but in the interest of fairness, he clamps on all the harder to tech to carry him there too.]
[ If his mouth wasn't currently occupied, he might have said how much he liked this different side of Kaiba -- a side he saw in rare glimpses. Always a blink and you'll miss it moment. But now it stays, it lingers. It's been here from the moment Kaiba asked him to fuck him and even before. Tech wanted Kaiba for his humanity and he got it in full. Nothing is more precious.
Except possibly that plea to keep going. Except the driving momentum of their bodies. Except the way Kaiba's body squeezes him as he comes and comes.
Tech shivers, expecting a lance of pain from those claws but nothing. Just Kaiba's body, open and inviting him to join in ethereal bliss. It takes Tech a bit longer -- for no other reason than to prolong this. Being entangled with Kaiba is always the closest Tech has ever been to heaven in his atheist world. And he wants to hang on. He wants so much more...
It doesn't matter what he wants, though. With one final thrust to put him as deep as possible, he stops and erupts. Mouth falling away from Kaiba's so he can praise him, whisper his name over and over again with every pulse of pleasure -- this climax less of a bomb explosion like the others had been, but more like a tidal wave, dragging him out to drown.
Because as he opens his eyes again and looks at Kaiba, haze slowly clearing, he realizes he is drowning. He would deny it, of course. Call this lust, call it worship, call it partnership, whatever. It doesn't blot out the truth that he's starting to feel some very intense feelings toward Kaiba. But it will be fine. He won't act on them like with Monika and it will be fine. Kaiba might be able to see right through him, he always could, but it wouldn't matter. It will be fine. ]
[thankfully, taking a smaller man did mean he wasn't going to limp for the rest of the night. though he was going at it with an admirable fervor.
he drifts in and out for the next few minutes, rocked back by every thrust. the exertion coupled with his existing exhaustion meant that he barely even feels it when tech finishes up; he barely even reacts, except for how deeply his claws dig into his own palms. the blood trickles down his skin, onto tech's back, though no pain can be felt there at all.
don't hurt him, don't hurt him, don't hurt him, he reminds himself. not everyone wants to be hurt. normal people don't want to be hurt. sometimes he forgets.
what a messy affair. usually on the opposing end, he isn't accustomed to that nasty stickiness. his eyes are still hazy as they drift to where they're connected, as those words of praise echo in his ears. underwater again, he thinks, barely listening to them at all. luckily for tech, he couldn't see much of anything either. he mutters under his breath:]
Damn.
[damn for any number of reasons. but mostly because they probably crossed another one of those unacrossable lines again.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
You can't just...
[...but he winds up trailing off, because not even he was sure where he was going with it.
his hand twitches, then turns upward, finding the tip of a horn. it's the first time he's touched one with anything less than derision. actually, it's the first time he's ever doubted his own appearance. not since gozaburo, anyway, when he was called ugly and useless and a thousand other terrible things -- all as a vulnerable child who broke beneath it.]
You're just in love with the idea of being loved. It's why gods are so weak.
[but it is, in truth, a weak retort. barely muttered under breath.]
Worship sustains you, and without it, you die.
no subject
I don't need you, Kaiba. The type of worship that gets me by isn't what we do. I get power from people being glued to their phones. Worship funnels in with every social media post, every disgusting, self-validating selfie, every time someone jerks off to niche pornography. Even in this place where there's barely any tech around, I can still get by because people still have the network. There are still people around who worship the devices that are part of my kingdom. I'm better than the other gods because of it.
[ His other hand comes up, residing on Kaiba's other cheek -- cupping his face. ]
I'm here because I want to be. If this was about sustaining me, I'd be in bed with your duel disk. Not you. It's you I want, independent of all that. You're the only one worthy of the attention of a god in all of this place. Is it really so hard to believe there's no hidden agenda? Because here's the simple truth, Kaiba. Being around you makes me happy.
[ His lips pinch and he shrugs as though to say: simple as that. ]
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everything had its price. nobody did anything for free. relationships were transactional; sex was just a distraction, as he himself said. no one really liked any one else. they just pretended to feel that way, just to see what they'd get out of it. it's why human beings were so miserable and pathetic, even if he would always preach their value over gods.
they were also terribly stubborn. it shows in his eyes, as if he intended to fight, but then it dies down again. as if it never were.]
I see.
[he gives up. he surrenders. his face sinks into his hold. his eyes shut.]
Then I'll let you be happy. Just this once.
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He smiles, watching as Kaiba settles into his grasp and he preserves this moment in his mind -- a picture to remember for eternity. ]
You know it won't be just this once. You won't even know you're doing it.
[ He teases even knowing it's a lie. Of course Kaiba will know. Kaiba is so incredibly perceptive, always be able to read Tech's moods. ]
What is a god to a nonbeliever? I'd say something imaginary. A fairy tale or myth. A good fictional story. But...
[ He inches closer, his mouth drawing near Kaiba's lips. ]
What am I to you? A powerful ally, a handy tool, a weapon -- all at your disposal. A great business partner who is going to see you through to success time and time again. Mainly...
[ A beat. ]
I'm yours.
[ And that's when he closes in for a second kiss. ]
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but he does know it won't be just this once. he would get tired again. he's tired all the time, if he's being honest with himself. if one other person saw it, then that was fine. even if they went back together, which he very much doubts because he was a skeptic by trade, he would be no different from any other employee. just a particularly gifted one.
he's just tired. that's fine. he's already in bed anyway. maybe he planned for this all along.]
Something imaginary...
[no, he wants to say, that's not true at all. people were real. and they would be the last creatures to inhabit the earth, long after gods were gone.
he realizes, belatedly, that he doesn't have a name quite yet. not the one he promised. he'll have to think a bit harder, because if they did go back together, he couldn't call him something silly like tech. it would have to be something human. something to suit the sorry truth that he would never believe in him, because he never believed in anyone else.
what was he? well...]
Something sad and lonely. Some unpatchable exploit.
[...well, maybe that applied to them both. but he'd never tell.
he allows himself to be kissed this time, holds onto him this time -- mine.]
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Maybe that has something to do with that 'sad and lonely' bit. But the nice thing about being with Kaiba is that it doesn't feel lonely. It's about the only time he feels stable these days. Even pockets of dissonance often find resonance the more time they spend with each other.
One hand falls away from Kaiba's face to wrap around his shoulders and draw himself in closer. The other hand chances slipping up into Kaiba's hair and trailing along the smooth curve of his horn. soft and easy so as to not bring him pain. The message behind the touch clearly being it doesn't make you less than. And if that doesn't translate, he murmurs against his lips. ]
Still perfect.
[ And then back into the kiss he lands, his tongue playfully lapping across Kaiba's lower lip to request entrance. ]
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he does mind his horns and claws. he has to be careful, has to move more cautiously so he doesn't stab or jab his partner. that's different too. he doesn't know his own limits, which was a weird place to be for someone who frequently preached they had none. he leans into his grip and makes a soft sound when tech grazes the tough chitin of a horn.
it's not displeased, not at all. quite the opposite, he's just sensitive.]
Don't.
[it's another read between the lines moment. of course he doesn't want him to stop. he's just navigating foreign territory.]
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But Tech's not afraid.
Fingertips wander back down along the underside of Kaiba's horn, not once parting from the kiss in this blind exploration. The hand at his shoulders creeps up to brush along the back of his neck, fingers threading in his hair. In spite of the changes, this seems to be a rare glimpse into the human side of Seto Kaiba -- something he did his best to keep at bay, something hidden from the world more often than not. And Tech Boy finds himself enamored by it -- moreso than most of the other facets of Kaiba's personality.
This is rare. This is the reward for two months of persistence. This is a degree of trust that Kaiba probably so rarely gives, and Tech Boy treasures this. It's the most valuable thing he's earned in this place by far.
Slowly, he moves back from Kaiba's lips just to look at him -- to drink in his expression and offer him a warm smile. ]
We don't have to fuck... [ Not the most tactful thing to say. But hear him out here -- he's not the best at talking about emotions. ] I'm fine with just this.
[ His arms around Kaiba, slow and languid kisses. What he's trying to say is that it's not all about sex. And if Kaiba's too drained, either physically or emotionally, they can just kiss until he got too tired and then fall asleep. ]
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too late for that now, though. he feels mushy. like someone poked at his center too much and it turned into goo. he's been touched before, obviously, but it feels so much intense. there's another soft sound as tech skirts the horn, effectively confirmation that he wasn't bothered so much as unsure. he's been touched before, but never like this.
the addition of horns and claws doesn't affect other places, which were always vulnerable. nails nudge at his nape and he shudders. he'd deny it to his grave, but yes, this was what humanity looked like for seto kaiba. and the more tech dares to do as no one else did, to go where no one else had, the more he melts. a happy cat, purring for its master.
he almost seems sleepy. his words are soft, softer than they ever should be.]
Fuck me.
[well, that answers that. kind of hard to misinterpret.]
I want it. I'm just going to...
[hurt you otherwise. with horns, with claws, with both. he doesn't trust himself.]
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Hands draw back from Kaiba's horns in order to move to his shirt and work at those buttons. They pop open one by one until the fabric parts and his hands can sweep across the smooth curves of Kaiba's chest -- an appreciative, adoring touch. In both their previous times together, he never got a chance to savor things and admire Kaiba the way he deserved to be admired.
Perfect. His touch says as it wanders the dips and curves of lithe muscle. Perfect. His fingers claim as they skim around to Kaiba's back, gliding along his spine. Perfect. They reiterate if they meet any flaws or scars because Tech can't see any part of Kaiba as anything other than perfect.
His mouth veers off of Kaiba's lips and he rolls to straddle him, mouth finding the curve of his neck and kissing along it while his hands move in to try and sweep the remaining fabric of the shirt aside. Off. He wants it off. They need to be stripped bare. Nude and facing one another. He wants to look into Kaiba's eyes while they do this, wants to savor everything about this shining moment of humanity.
Tech pauses his kisses just long enough to disappear into his shirt, ball it up, and toss it somewhere off the bed. No place for it here. Then, he dives right back into what he was doing -- mouth gracing Kaiba's collarbone and right at the center of it, he invites skin into lips to suck on until a nice little red mark blossoms -- easily hidden by a shirt collar, but still ever present. A sly glance is flickered toward Kaiba's face because for at least a few days, he doesn't want Kaiba to forget this. He doesn't want Kaiba to forget him.
Because for as much as he's Kaiba's....Kaiba is also his. ]
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not that he has much time to adjust anyway. a strange authoritativeness sweeps over tech like a shroud. maybe it was that godhood, he thinks, watching through eyes that are the slightest bit wider as he's relieved of his shirt. and of course he isn't shy; that isn't the issue. he's attractive and he knows it. he hasn't felt ugly since he was a child.
he just doesn't know if he's done this before. he doesn't know if he's ever let anyone else have this sort of control. even with older men, he made it clear he was in charge. he took what he wanted and then threw them away. oftentimes, they were even fired for not living up to expectations. but tech seems so sure of himself, he wonders how he missed it. his muscles twitch at every touch and he leans into it, greedy for more. desperate to be worshiped, to be told how perfect he was -- even if his ego definitely didn't need it.
he's attractive. all of japan knows it. tech knows it too. he should have shied away from contact to delicate places but paradoxically he wants his hands there the most. his legs part obligingly, offering no resistance. eventually his arms find something to do, encircling tech's head. they could hurt him. they could really hurt him. but instead, he just holds him in place, so he can't look up and see how weak he must seem. no, he won't forget. he never forgets a face. and he won't forget something that will haunt him forever.
even so, he's relaxed. as much as he could ever be. breathing low and slow and falling victim to the moment.]
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His hands move on to Kaiba's pants, blindly working them open -- an action he could do in his sleep by this point. So often he's prying them apart with eagerness, but this time it's slow, careful -- every action deliberate to keep Kaiba in this state of relaxation he deserves.
After everything he has faced, Kaiba's earned this -- a chance to sit back and turn off his mind and just enjoy the moment. A chance to lower his guard. A chance to trust. Tech doesn't allow any of his usual impatience to intervene, his pace steady and even, as much reassurance as it is a promise to not overstep. Kaiba might be an atheist, but Tech Boy is still his god. And sometimes it's a god's job to heal and bestow mercy.
As he draws Kaiba's pants down as best as he can around his hips, Tech's mouth moves in to the pelvic bone, raining kisses across it before drawing slowly inward. This time, he doesn't take Kaiba straight down his throat, but spreads kisses across the length of him, only at that point allowing eyes to flicker up toward Kaiba's face as he gently takes him in his mouth, just the tip -- tongue swirling around him. Mine, his expression reads, a silently staked claim.
Perhaps he should be worried about the wave of feelings that are crashing and receding over him, but in this moment, there's no confusion, nothing other than Seto Kaiba -- flooding all five of his senses. ]
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he almost feels guilty. he's a workaholic, after all, and that applied to every aspect of his life. so it almost feels like he should be working harder, that he should be doing something other than lying back and... well, lying back. it's also at least a little embarrassing, how aroused he was already, tenting his pants long before they slide off his hips.
but not too much. easing his hold, he slides his belt out of the way, pupils noticeably dilated as they center on tech and what was inevitably going to happen. and when it does, he sighs in immense relief. in fact, he's not sure he's ever been so relieved in all his life. tech offers mercy and he takes it, simple as that. he just can't fight it anymore.
though he will fight off moans, biting his lip so hard it nearly bleeds.]
Don't be unfair...
[rich words from seto "will fuck you over" kaiba. not that he does anything to stop him, arching to try and bury himself deeper.]
Fucking godjobs.
[he's going to trademark that later, thanks for asking.]
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Didn't you get mad at me last time for swallowing it down without warning?
[ Amusement remains as he goes right back in, slowly inching Kaiba's cock between his lips and only allowing him in as far as his mouth can take him, then drawing back and repeating. Each time he lets him in a little deeper than the last -- but never fully down his throat. He's saving that for later.
He carries on this way for a few minutes before drawing back to look up again, his head tilting toward the night stand. ]
The lube. Is it still third drawer down to the left?
[ Another part of his mercy is making sure Kaiba is nice, prepped and ready. If they are really doing this, if Kaiba's really allowing this, then Tech's going to make it as easy for him as possible. Aggression didn't really have a place here -- at least not in the beginning. They both usually had a difficult time controlling themselves in the height of the pleasure, but they'll cross that bridge when they get there.... ]
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You always infuriate me.
[in which case, he was in good company. maybe they were just an infuriating pair of people.
he doesn't have much time to dwell on it, however, as tech does his damnedest to swallow him up. and he does work harder in the sense he has to hold himself back, has to keep from choking him. because there's a lot to choke on and he may or may not be a little hornier than usual, all thanks to that earlier attention.
his claws tear at the sheets, just a little. but that was fine. better linen than flesh. tech was infuriating, but he definitely didn't deserve that.]
...yeah. I think so.
[thinking was also a little harder than usual. though he was thinking ahead, as he was wont to do, about his fingers and where they were going.]
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He plucks it out of its place with the grin of someone unearthing a hidden treasure before he returns to the bed and puts himself right back where he was -- this time fully nude and so very ready. But even in spite of his own arousal, he maintains his patience, maintains that casual pace, and still puts Kaiba's pleasure ahead of his own needs -- palms massaging along his torso, almost reverent, adoring. ]
Part of you must like it when I get under your skin.
[ He grins, opening the bottle and pouring some oil onto his palm. Hands rub together with particular attention paid to the fingers of his right hand, and then he goes back in, his mouth returning to Kaiba's length while at the same time a finger finds the heat of his entrance. And all at once, he plunges all the way -- Kaiba's beautifully curved arousal swallowed down as deep as can be while his finger slides within him.
It brings a shudder down his own spine. Kaiba feels exquisite. ]
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at least it gives him a moment to brace himself. and to wriggle the rest of the way out of his pants, which was much easier without a bunch of belts and straps to loosen and unbuckle. when tech boy returns, his eyes are dark. black blotting out blue as he shifts again in anticipation. he absolutely has his number and he can't deny it. so he doesn't.]
I like brats.
[more than like, really. as if that weren't obvious enough.
it was also increasingly obvious that he was incredibly sensitive right now and not all that equipped to handle stimulation on multiple fronts. a full body shudder hits him as his head lolls to the side and he cries out. it's a cry he muffles too late, one of his own hands flying to his mouth -- damn it.]
Y-you're going to make me—
[well. he probably doesn't need to finish that sentence.]
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You can. If you want. This is all about you, Kaiba. Whatever you want.
[ His fingers continue to make delicate work of Kaiba's entrance, gently stretching and pressing inward. ]
I don't need anything. I just want you to feel good.
[ Does he want something? Of course he does. But he's fought against want and desire many times, especially where Kaiba's concerned. Tech Boy would be fine. More than pleasure, there's just this insatiable need to make Kaiba understand he cares about him. Yours. Mine. Those words mean something -- beyond the heat of the moment. They're a bond. They're loyalty. They're a willingness on Tech Boy's behalf to shove himself in the line of danger for Kaiba and to do everything he can to take his pain away. ]
Can I say something dumb? I know, I know. You'd probably say everything I say is fucking dumb...
[ Fingers push further, as far as they can, and then withdraw -- only to return and add a third. Tech looks down at what he's doing, keeps his eyes locked on it to avoid meeting Kaiba's gaze when he admits: ]
Meeting you was the best thing that's ever happened in my life. And like I'm the internet so that's fucking top praise right there.
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I already do what I want! Don't tell me what to do!
[and if tech boy ever needed confirmation that this was an adult who was still very much a child at his core, there it was. bratty behavior on full display.
just as he can't remember the last time he fucked someone over a flat surface, he can't remember the last time he got fingers shoved up his ass. at least not so skillfully, which only adds to his aggravation. he starts to squirm, not to get away, but because he didn't want to admit that tech was working him over and in such a thorough fashion.]
Of course it's dumb! And don't tell me "it's all about you!" when you're supposed to want things too! You absolute moron!
[he settles down a little, only to whine and pant at that third finger.]
You're allowed to want things... for yourself. Even if you won't get them. Greed is good.
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Who says I'm not getting exactly what I want...?
[ Having Kaiba squirm for him, now that is powerful. Having Kaiba respond to his administrations, to be so close to the edge -- every sound he made, every gasped breath that caught in his lungs. That's worship, a semi-silent plea for release -- release only Tech could bring him.
Tech Boy dips in to kiss him, hungry, passionate and wanting. Because Kaiba is right. He does want. And for as much as he wants, he will always want more. And what he wants the most is to be inside of him. Tech's stronger than his urges, he'd be stronger than them for Kaiba's sake. But it sounds like Kaiba doesn't want him to be, so fine. He can be selfish and indulgent. He can take what he wants because it's what they both want. ]
Greed's one of those seven deadly sins.
[ He draws back, wagging a scolding finger. Tsk tsk. The hand within Kaiba slides free so Tech Boy can return to the lubricant, pouring some out and then working it along his own length -- a pleasant sigh escaping his lips, a zip of static pixels racing across his chest. ]
But you're just so fucking cute when you're petulant. So how could I resist?
[ He lifts Kaiba's hips, lines himself up and meets his gaze. The expression playful, but also admiring. How could he ever resist Seto Kaiba? He couldn't when he was with someone else and he definitely couldn't now. His weakness, his strength, his everything.
With a shuddered breath, Tech Boy pushes within. And once he's in all the way, a pleasant burst of electric ripples to tease and stimulate nerve endings to life. Seems he can work that electrostimulation no matter which position he's in. ]
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after that rousing show of rebellion, kaiba settles back down again. he just lets it happen, though he wasn't at all upset. a little miffed, maybe, that he might have misread a few signs, but he lets it happen and keeps his eyes on tech. as he dips down for a kiss, he encircles him, ensnares him, enraptures him. his claws slip down his back, pricking skin.
and he curls his legs around him, welcoming the intrusion. he doesn't prefer this position, finds it vulnerable, but he just lets that happen too. still petulant, still very much the brat, yet one that has offered complete surrender. those legs were strong; it wouldn't take much to crush him. but here they only serve to bring tech as close as possible.
he always forgets about that electricity. and as it shocks him he whines, already feeling himself tip. he gasps against his mouth:]
You're cheating.
[and he really hates that. though in this case, he really loves it too.]
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[ Is his cheeky retort. Can't cheat if he's single! Of course he knows what Kaiba's really talking about and he only punctuates it by upping that electric connection. Still a work in progress, learning the right nerves to press. He has an idea which ones are the most sensitive, but it's incredibly difficult to focus. Kaiba just feels so good. A groan hums in his throat as he leans forward to claim Kaiba's lips again -- taking all of the kisses he has been denied in the past for himself. Mine.
As those claws scrape against his skin, he shudders. Tech can see it now -- those claws are going to draw his blood at some point, but he doesn't care. There's no room for care with these incredible sensations washing over him. With Kaiba, it's so easy to lose himself in the moment, and it's exactly what he does now -- hips finding a quick, driving rhythm. Gentleness abandoned. He thrusts deep and claims, pulls back and claims again. Mine, mine, so exquisitely mine.
One hand finds Kaiba's hair, the other seeks out his cock -- both grip and stroke and worship. Fingers seek out one of Kaiba's fresh horns, curling around the smooth surface to reiterate what he set out to prove before. Perfect. Every inch of his man -- from horn to toe. ]
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and despite being so extraordinarily willful, even he could only hold out for so long. between the electricity, the fingers, and... okay, so maybe he liked his men a bit bigger down south, but this was by no means bad. though some functioning part of his brain vows to take a look at some of his "personal" stats later. solely for the sake of scientific curiosity.
at least he doesn't have to admit any loneliness with his mouth occupied. because he's not lonely, but if by some remote chance that was the truth, he doesn't have to say anything at all. those kisses swallow up sound yet don't completely muffle his increasingly desperate sighs and cries, one sign among many that he was approaching his limit.
even if he wouldn't admit that either. that seto kaiba was a human being with limits, just like everyone else.
he moves just as quickly and easily with tech, breaking off only to warn him:]
Keep going.
[and as usual, it's a warning as well as an order.
an order that will make a lot more sense when he comes and comes hard, but in the interest of fairness, he clamps on all the harder to tech to carry him there too.]
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Except possibly that plea to keep going. Except the driving momentum of their bodies. Except the way Kaiba's body squeezes him as he comes and comes.
Tech shivers, expecting a lance of pain from those claws but nothing. Just Kaiba's body, open and inviting him to join in ethereal bliss. It takes Tech a bit longer -- for no other reason than to prolong this. Being entangled with Kaiba is always the closest Tech has ever been to heaven in his atheist world. And he wants to hang on. He wants so much more...
It doesn't matter what he wants, though. With one final thrust to put him as deep as possible, he stops and erupts. Mouth falling away from Kaiba's so he can praise him, whisper his name over and over again with every pulse of pleasure -- this climax less of a bomb explosion like the others had been, but more like a tidal wave, dragging him out to drown.
Because as he opens his eyes again and looks at Kaiba, haze slowly clearing, he realizes he is drowning. He would deny it, of course. Call this lust, call it worship, call it partnership, whatever. It doesn't blot out the truth that he's starting to feel some very intense feelings toward Kaiba. But it will be fine. He won't act on them like with Monika and it will be fine. Kaiba might be able to see right through him, he always could, but it wouldn't matter. It will be fine. ]
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he drifts in and out for the next few minutes, rocked back by every thrust. the exertion coupled with his existing exhaustion meant that he barely even feels it when tech finishes up; he barely even reacts, except for how deeply his claws dig into his own palms. the blood trickles down his skin, onto tech's back, though no pain can be felt there at all.
don't hurt him, don't hurt him, don't hurt him, he reminds himself. not everyone wants to be hurt. normal people don't want to be hurt. sometimes he forgets.
what a messy affair. usually on the opposing end, he isn't accustomed to that nasty stickiness. his eyes are still hazy as they drift to where they're connected, as those words of praise echo in his ears. underwater again, he thinks, barely listening to them at all. luckily for tech, he couldn't see much of anything either. he mutters under his breath:]
Damn.
[damn for any number of reasons. but mostly because they probably crossed another one of those unacrossable lines again.]
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fin~