[ Until she asks that question, he hadn't realized what might have been implied. And he's quick to amend: ]
not with you. when i'm with you is about the only time i feel right
[ Although even then...if given too long to sit and dwell on Hellburbia, it's possible to sometimes be happy and sad at the same time. Happy with his girl, sad for the lost loving family feelings. ]
but yeah. let's go out and be rebellious. we could write our names in a little heart so all of hell will know we were there forever and ever. 😉
alright, alright. it'll be a huge heart to match the huge heart you got. they'll be able to see it all the way from the hotel!
no. fuck that. they'll see it all the way from HEAVEN
because all of the worlds need to know how much i love you.
i appreciate you giving a shit, ava. it's not something i'm used to, so if i'm acting like a brat or selfishly, just give me the heads up. i'm too used to doing things alone that it doesn't come natural to realize i'm NOT alone. not anymore.
you're being very sweet but you don't actually have to go all out. I don't need grand romantic gestures. I think I'm learning real relationships don't require them like they do in the movies. I think they're more about the little moments.
I think we're probably very alike in the selfish brat department but we cancel each other out when we're together??
and we're also very used to being alone but we need to keep reminding each other we're not.
and that's exactly why we work. because we know what we both need the most. that reassurance and love. the security of not being alone anymore.
i'm honestly glad i reached a point where i could give you the best of me. you deserve nothing but the best of everyone so you can be the best of you, too.
since we started dating, you've grown so much in confidence. it's been real incredible to watch. esp knowing you're mine so i can be like 'yeaaaah that's my gf 😍😍😍😍 i'm her biggest simp'
I know you've said you've done bad things but I feel like you're the best version of yourself around me and that's all that matters.
it's kinda hard not to grow in confidence a little when you make a conscious effort to make me feel good about myself. you really are the best boyfriend ever.
and I'm not sure how this turned into a mutual lovefest but I'm not complaining 😘 though you're gonna have to educate me on what a simp is.
not up on the modern lingo? it's when a guy is sooooOOOOooOoOo into a girl that they'll basically let them walk all over them and thank them for it.
mostly it comes across as pathetic, but i'm gonna say in OUR case, it's cute and endearing TY.
but also yes, i know you're not gonna walk all over me. we got a mutual respect going on here, which is weird in my relationships. i'm used to being the one who cares more. even with loki....i know he CARED about me, but i don't think it was ever to the extent i cared about him.
and back home, my old boss had me erased, tried to have me deleted, has even gone as far as shoving fingers into my eyes....but the second he told me that he cared about me, it was like none of that mattered and all i wanted was the affection.
he went on to have me locked up in a basement to siphon my power soon afterward. with allies like that, who needs enemies, am i right?
but the fucked up thing about me, ava, is that even now i still have this weird hope that world will look at me proudly and commend me for a job well done someday.
which i guess probably explains why, up until you, all of my relationships have been pretty fucked up. i'm so used to being treated like shit, that's what i'm drawn to.
but i'd like to hope you're going to help me break that cycle.
I get it. it's hard to act logically when feelings/emotions are involved... like how I sent monika a middle finger the other day. I think I was still kinda upset (not anymore, I'm fine) at how close you both got in hellburbia and advising me to take care of you like I wasn't gonna already kinda pushed me over the edge. but hey, at least I didn't kill her again, right??
I guess I do bully you sometimes, but you love it 😘
yeah. he was kinda the head honcho on the new gods side. the old gods basically started a war against us, so world's been trying to finish it.
....lol ava. starting fights now?
i mean, i don't blame you because i would 100% be the same way if it was some ex bf telling me how to treat you. but like i do think that was her attempt at a peace offering. you're perfectly within your right not to take it because nothing good ever really comes out of any kind of relationship with monika. some part of me is hesitant to write her off as a lost cause, tho. i still think that maybe if she met the right kind of people like i did, she could be better than she was.
people are usually starting fights with me back home. actual fights. I thought I'd spice things up.
I don't know if we can ever be friends. I offered after I apologized for killing her but she said it wasn't a good idea. that you'd think she was stealing me away from you and that you deserved something that was yours.
i probably wouldn't have been okay with it back then. i still don't necessarily trust her around you, but i trust you. i trust you more than anyone, so i know you're not gonna fall for any BS. and i know you can also totally fucking kick someone's ass, so no one's gonna be coming out of the woodwork to murder you lol
but no. i def don't think kaiba makes her better. he makes people worse. it's what he did to me. it's what he's doing to monika. you've seen the guy. you've seen how fast he's going full demon. and now it's the same with monika. i don't know if there's any saving either of them, really.
but dude!! don't you know a bunch of nuns? who the fuck's starting a fight with you?
I guess neither of them are your problem anymore. they've made their beds, now they have to lie in them... but I get it if you still care about them.
not all nuns are saints. there was this one called lilith who really had it out for me. she'd trained to be the next halo bearer her whole life so when I got it out of nowhere she was pissed. she wanted to take it out of me. by force. then she died protecting me from a demon.
she was a bitch but she didn't deserve that. she deserved the halo more than me. maybe I should have let have it but I'm pretty much dead without it. I wanna live too much to die again.
yo. this bitch just straight up would have ripped the halo out of you and let you go back to being dead? that's fucked. and fuck no!!!! she didn't deserve it 'more than you.' idc how much she prepared for it or how badly she wanted it. it didn't want her. if it did, it wouldn't have brought you back to life. or if she was the one meant to have it, when she got near to you it would have fucking popped out of your back like a dvd for her to take.
you don't get things in life by wanting them badly enough. it's like you and me. i didn't just see a pretty girl the night we met and decide to make her my girlfriend. there was something in us that makes us a perfect match. the experiences we've gone through and how we can relate to one another. and then everything else fell into place. and i imagine it's the same for the halo. there's something in you that made it choose you over lilith. and obviously even she was able to see that if she died protecting you in the end.
idk about any sort of intuition, but i'm just relaying facts. at least how i see them.
and i'm a god, so clearly that gives me some super special perspective 😌😇😜
but loki was def better on the intuition/saying the right thing front. he could be terse and a little standoffish, but he always listened and gave the best advice.
[ Lame or not, he appreciates it coming from Ava. And he doesn't want to spend too long being down about this. ]
well, the good thing about me, babydoll, is i can't forget anything. so in many ways, he'll always be there and i'll always remember everything he said.
but for now, you and i got a date to vandalize some shit. wear some clothes you don't mind getting full of paint lol
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not with you. when i'm with you is about the only time i feel right
[ Although even then...if given too long to sit and dwell on Hellburbia, it's possible to sometimes be happy and sad at the same time. Happy with his girl, sad for the lost loving family feelings. ]
but yeah. let's go out and be rebellious. we could write our names in a little heart so all of hell will know we were there forever and ever. 😉
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I hate thinking of you upset though. it's all I could think about when I saw thor's announcement.
that's so cheesy but I kinda love that idea. just a little heart though? I want a biiiig heart. so everyone can see it.
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no. fuck that. they'll see it all the way from HEAVEN
because all of the worlds need to know how much i love you.
i appreciate you giving a shit, ava. it's not something i'm used to, so if i'm acting like a brat or selfishly, just give me the heads up. i'm too used to doing things alone that it doesn't come natural to realize i'm NOT alone. not anymore.
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I think we're probably very alike in the selfish brat department but we cancel each other out when we're together??
and we're also very used to being alone but we need to keep reminding each other we're not.
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i'm honestly glad i reached a point where i could give you the best of me. you deserve nothing but the best of everyone so you can be the best of you, too.
since we started dating, you've grown so much in confidence. it's been real incredible to watch. esp knowing you're mine so i can be like 'yeaaaah that's my gf 😍😍😍😍 i'm her biggest simp'
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it's kinda hard not to grow in confidence a little when you make a conscious effort to make me feel good about myself. you really are the best boyfriend ever.
and I'm not sure how this turned into a mutual lovefest but I'm not complaining 😘 though you're gonna have to educate me on what a simp is.
cw: talk of abuse
mostly it comes across as pathetic, but i'm gonna say in OUR case, it's cute and endearing TY.
but also yes, i know you're not gonna walk all over me. we got a mutual respect going on here, which is weird in my relationships. i'm used to being the one who cares more. even with loki....i know he CARED about me, but i don't think it was ever to the extent i cared about him.
and back home, my old boss had me erased, tried to have me deleted, has even gone as far as shoving fingers into my eyes....but the second he told me that he cared about me, it was like none of that mattered and all i wanted was the affection.
he went on to have me locked up in a basement to siphon my power soon afterward. with allies like that, who needs enemies, am i right?
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you know better now, right?
people who act that way don't care about you, tech. or if they do, they're messed up and need help.
nobody like that deserves your affection.
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but the fucked up thing about me, ava, is that even now i still have this weird hope that world will look at me proudly and commend me for a job well done someday.
which i guess probably explains why, up until you, all of my relationships have been pretty fucked up. i'm so used to being treated like shit, that's what i'm drawn to.
but i'd like to hope you're going to help me break that cycle.
no subject
I get it. it's hard to act logically when feelings/emotions are involved... like how I sent monika a middle finger the other day. I think I was still kinda upset (not anymore, I'm fine) at how close you both got in hellburbia and advising me to take care of you like I wasn't gonna already kinda pushed me over the edge. but hey, at least I didn't kill her again, right??
I guess I do bully you sometimes, but you love it 😘
no subject
....lol ava. starting fights now?
i mean, i don't blame you because i would 100% be the same way if it was some ex bf telling me how to treat you. but like i do think that was her attempt at a peace offering. you're perfectly within your right not to take it because nothing good ever really comes out of any kind of relationship with monika. some part of me is hesitant to write her off as a lost cause, tho. i still think that maybe if she met the right kind of people like i did, she could be better than she was.
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people are usually starting fights with me back home. actual fights. I thought I'd spice things up.
I don't know if we can ever be friends. I offered after I apologized for killing her but she said it wasn't a good idea. that you'd think she was stealing me away from you and that you deserved something that was yours.
you don't think kaiba makes her better?
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but no. i def don't think kaiba makes her better. he makes people worse. it's what he did to me. it's what he's doing to monika. you've seen the guy. you've seen how fast he's going full demon. and now it's the same with monika. i don't know if there's any saving either of them, really.
but dude!! don't you know a bunch of nuns? who the fuck's starting a fight with you?
no subject
not all nuns are saints. there was this one called lilith who really had it out for me. she'd trained to be the next halo bearer her whole life so when I got it out of nowhere she was pissed. she wanted to take it out of me. by force. then she died protecting me from a demon.
she was a bitch but she didn't deserve that. she deserved the halo more than me. maybe I should have let have it but I'm pretty much dead without it. I wanna live too much to die again.
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you don't get things in life by wanting them badly enough. it's like you and me. i didn't just see a pretty girl the night we met and decide to make her my girlfriend. there was something in us that makes us a perfect match. the experiences we've gone through and how we can relate to one another. and then everything else fell into place. and i imagine it's the same for the halo. there's something in you that made it choose you over lilith. and obviously even she was able to see that if she died protecting you in the end.
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lol like a dvd... you dork ❤️
I guess she wouldn't have sacrificed herself if she didn't think maybe I was the one who was meant to have the halo all along...
how do you always know the right thing to say to make me feel better??? is it a god's intuition or something?
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and i'm a god, so clearly that gives me some super special perspective 😌😇😜
but loki was def better on the intuition/saying the right thing front. he could be terse and a little standoffish, but he always listened and gave the best advice.
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everything he taught you, every piece of advice he gave? keep it close to your heart and he'll always be with you.
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well, the good thing about me, babydoll, is i can't forget anything. so in many ways, he'll always be there and i'll always remember everything he said.
but for now, you and i got a date to vandalize some shit. wear some clothes you don't mind getting full of paint lol
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I'll wear some cute dungarees that would actually look cool if I got paint on them. hipster chic!
I love you. see you soon 😘