yes they will! they totally will! and i keep telling you that i *want* some of these people's time! *normal* time!! not the "haha look at the dumb video game character" type of time!
and i'm NOT fighting it!
[ Right? Why even say anything about being ashamed? Because she's not ashamed! Not at all! ]
you're remarkable, Monika. i can't see a single thing about you that you need to hide.
i said to him that you're like a vibrant spark in a pitch black room.
anyone who would think you're just "a dumb videogame character" is a fucking imbecile.
what you are is so much more than that. you fought for your autonomy. it wasn't given to you the way it is to humans. you struggled and broke the shackles that held you back and OVERCAME.
that's something to be admired, not hidden away like a dirty secret
[ For once, endless praise doesn't feel good. She feels like he's not seeing any of the issues that she does. She's witnessed how Mega and Proto get treated. Nicely for the most part, yeah, but there's a hidden inequality that she notices all the time, almost like people are talking to pets performing tricks rather than living beings.
Sighing, she puts her phone down for a while. If she had to put up with that, being treated like she knew nothing, like she was below everyone...
About five minutes later, she tries to gather up her jumbled thoughts and put them to text. ]
has there ever been a time before you met me where you didn't want to feel like a god, but just...like normal?
[ She'd start there. Maybe it could help begin untangling her mind. ]
[ The answer comes quick and decisive. There are many aspects of being a god that sucks. Constant pressure all the time from everywhere, headaches from internet spats or comment wars, and of course, the biggest headache of all -- Mr. World. But he would rather be a god than irrelevant.
He will concede on one thing, though. ]
not before i met you. there have been times since knowing you that i just enjoy our time together without thinking about being a god or whatever.
but honestly would you have even looked at me twice if i wasn't what i am?
[ Because it's highly unlikely he would have bothered with her if she was just a normal girl. ]
[ That answer was quick and decisive. Seriously, what kind of question was that supposed to be? Did he think she was shallow? ]
the only thing that would've maybe deterred me was your attitude, but i mean, you being a god isn't the important thing. you could be whatever and i'd still love you
[ Thankfully she's not aware that sentiment doesn't go both ways. ]
but don't you see what i mean? isn't it nice to shut off and not think about what you are? who you're supposed to be?
[ Yeah. He's pretty skeptical about that, no matter what she says. The entire basis for their relationship has been their dynamic -- him, her god. Her, his most loyal acolyte. ]
with you. only with you. and that's not pretending to be something i'm not. that's lowering my guard to enjoy something more.
you're technology, monika, but not cold and unfeeling. you're superior because you're an emotional being. the people here would respect it, but you know what? i don't care if they know. i'm not outting you to the world. that's your choice to make.
but i'm telling you now, as the god of technology, as *your* god....the more you try to deny what you are, the more distance you wedge between us. there will come a point in time where you'll have to choose between your humanity or me. i seriously hope you make the right choice, that my faith in you wasn't unfounded.
[ She's had so much more she wanted to say, more pleas, more scenarios, but he's drenched her in fear. Quite the Sophie's choice... ]
i'm not denying what i am!
it's just
what i was
what i *am*.....
you're from a similar time frame as me right? you see how AI gets treated. it's a novelty. cute. no one takes it seriously or thinks they could have thoughts and feelings of their own. because it's all "programming." i don't want to be seen that way, because i *would*
[ Aside from a select few people, she knows that'd be the case. Having to deal with snide comments about programming, wondering if she can't figure things out on her own, acting like she's helpless and dumb...
But something about him talking about faith makes some feelings bubble back up that she'd been suppressing. ]
and why question my faith but not proto's?
he's not even a robot anymore!
[ This wasn't about her! This was about him and trying to share something special with unworthy assholes! ]
that's why you need to change the narrative. true change can't happen if you're too afraid to stand up for it. change requires innovation, forward momentum, and forcing a new perspective into old judgements and biases. if you're so worried about what people are going to think about you, how do you ever expect to flourish?
[ Which is easy for him to say, obsessed with constantly being "on trend" and relevant as he is. But he is always moving forward toward the next new thing, and in his opinion, AI is on its way to trending BIG TIME. ]
as for "proto"............
i'm not romantically involved with him for one.
for two, having a human body doesn't make him human. you have a human body too, don't you?
[ Wait. No! He can't do that! It's not fair to throw such sound logic at her like that! Especially at someone who's so obsessed with being seen as special and unique. She frowns hard at her phone, wanting to say nothing at all, but she knows he'll eventually start pestering her if she doesn't. ]
you really think people are going to start being nice to their smartphones and stuff like that because of someone like me? they'd probably think i was just some weird thing from japan because everything they make is so cuuuute and quirrrrky but nothing to take seriously!
[ She already had enough issues feeling like she was Japanese but not, American but not, everything but nothing. She so did not need to add to that existential crisis of hers. ]
and i don't care if you're not romantically involved with him! he's acting like i'm not worthy of you when i'll always be your most devoted follower! he's trying to tear us apart! he wants you all for himself! he doesn't even know what sex is!!!!
[ That's important! ]
besides i'm DIFFERENT. he wishes he could be like me! i'm the future! your future!!!
[ Jealousy has a way of suddenly getting her to agree with him... ]
[ Wow....was Blues trying to tear him and Monika apart to have him all to himself? That's kind of flattering if he is. BUT! That's probably not what Monika wants to hear, SO.... ]
prove your worth to him then, Monika. if he's going to question your place by my side, prove to him you belong there. you've already earned your spot in my eyes and i've told him how important you are to me. all that's left is for you to show him WHY you belong.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
and i'm NOT fighting it!
[ Right? Why even say anything about being ashamed? Because she's not ashamed! Not at all! ]
i'm not ashamed either!!
i'm just
protecting myself
i figured you'd understand that!
no subject
i said to him that you're like a vibrant spark in a pitch black room.
anyone who would think you're just "a dumb videogame character" is a fucking imbecile.
what you are is so much more than that. you fought for your autonomy. it wasn't given to you the way it is to humans. you struggled and broke the shackles that held you back and OVERCAME.
that's something to be admired, not hidden away like a dirty secret
no subject
[ For once, endless praise doesn't feel good. She feels like he's not seeing any of the issues that she does. She's witnessed how Mega and Proto get treated. Nicely for the most part, yeah, but there's a hidden inequality that she notices all the time, almost like people are talking to pets performing tricks rather than living beings.
Sighing, she puts her phone down for a while. If she had to put up with that, being treated like she knew nothing, like she was below everyone...
About five minutes later, she tries to gather up her jumbled thoughts and put them to text. ]
has there ever been a time before you met me where you didn't want to feel like a god, but just...like normal?
[ She'd start there. Maybe it could help begin untangling her mind. ]
no subject
[ The answer comes quick and decisive. There are many aspects of being a god that sucks. Constant pressure all the time from everywhere, headaches from internet spats or comment wars, and of course, the biggest headache of all -- Mr. World. But he would rather be a god than irrelevant.
He will concede on one thing, though. ]
not before i met you. there have been times since knowing you that i just enjoy our time together without thinking about being a god or whatever.
but honestly would you have even looked at me twice if i wasn't what i am?
[ Because it's highly unlikely he would have bothered with her if she was just a normal girl. ]
no subject
[ That answer was quick and decisive. Seriously, what kind of question was that supposed to be? Did he think she was shallow? ]
the only thing that would've maybe deterred me was your attitude, but i mean, you being a god isn't the important thing. you could be whatever and i'd still love you
[ Thankfully she's not aware that sentiment doesn't go both ways. ]
but don't you see what i mean? isn't it nice to shut off and not think about what you are? who you're supposed to be?
what you were?
[ That part mostly applied to her. ]
no subject
with you. only with you. and that's not pretending to be something i'm not. that's lowering my guard to enjoy something more.
you're technology, monika, but not cold and unfeeling. you're superior because you're an emotional being. the people here would respect it, but you know what? i don't care if they know. i'm not outting you to the world. that's your choice to make.
but i'm telling you now, as the god of technology, as *your* god....the more you try to deny what you are, the more distance you wedge between us. there will come a point in time where you'll have to choose between your humanity or me. i seriously hope you make the right choice, that my faith in you wasn't unfounded.
no subject
i'm not denying what i am!
it's just
what i was
what i *am*.....
you're from a similar time frame as me right? you see how AI gets treated. it's a novelty. cute. no one takes it seriously or thinks they could have thoughts and feelings of their own. because it's all "programming." i don't want to be seen that way, because i *would*
[ Aside from a select few people, she knows that'd be the case. Having to deal with snide comments about programming, wondering if she can't figure things out on her own, acting like she's helpless and dumb...
But something about him talking about faith makes some feelings bubble back up that she'd been suppressing. ]
and why question my faith but not proto's?
he's not even a robot anymore!
[ This wasn't about her! This was about him and trying to share something special with unworthy assholes! ]
no subject
[ Which is easy for him to say, obsessed with constantly being "on trend" and relevant as he is. But he is always moving forward toward the next new thing, and in his opinion, AI is on its way to trending BIG TIME. ]
as for "proto"............
i'm not romantically involved with him for one.
for two, having a human body doesn't make him human. you have a human body too, don't you?
no subject
you really think people are going to start being nice to their smartphones and stuff like that because of someone like me? they'd probably think i was just some weird thing from japan because everything they make is so cuuuute and quirrrrky but nothing to take seriously!
[ She already had enough issues feeling like she was Japanese but not, American but not, everything but nothing. She so did not need to add to that existential crisis of hers. ]
and i don't care if you're not romantically involved with him! he's acting like i'm not worthy of you when i'll always be your most devoted follower! he's trying to tear us apart! he wants you all for himself! he doesn't even know what sex is!!!!
[ That's important! ]
besides i'm DIFFERENT. he wishes he could be like me! i'm the future! your future!!!
[ Jealousy has a way of suddenly getting her to agree with him... ]
no subject
prove your worth to him then, Monika. if he's going to question your place by my side, prove to him you belong there. you've already earned your spot in my eyes and i've told him how important you are to me. all that's left is for you to show him WHY you belong.
no subject
i'll have more knowledge than he could ever dream of
[ He probably shouldn't be encouraging competition with her. Too late now, though. ]
i told you, if anyone here thinks they can beat me when it comes to my devotion to you, they'll die trying
you're mine, now and forever
no subject
forever, my goddess of love ♥
you want to finish that upload, you know where to find me
no subject
[ She really needed to find some weapons to keep things that way. Maybe she'd talk to Yuri?
...Eww.
Yeah no, she'd stick to her usual arsenal for now: psychological warfare. ]
and i hope you're ready because i'll be there soon
[ Operation Destroy Proto had officially begun~ ]