[It’s such a complicated issue for Belladonna—-wanting to feel free to be who she is but craving all that she can’t be. Still, she hopes that her time here will change some of her goodness for the worse. He spins her, and the white witch closes her eyes, trying to imagine losing herself in his music.
I’m doing so, she feels herself weakening. But maybe being weak right now is what she needs. As her hair and her skirt settles from the movement she asks on an I’ll-advised impulse:]
Boy do I ever. I'm like a regular fucking pharmacy right now.
[ He laughs. It's not helpful. Getting high doesn't make the problems go away, but it does make them disappear for a little while. And he's not going to argue with Belladonna and advocate sobriety. Fuck sobriety. She needs to let loose.
Tech finally pushes the door to his room open and leads the way inside. LED lights are on a colorized scheme, shifting every few seconds to melt into a new hue. His room is far messier than he tends to keep it, bed unmade, clothes strewn around. Although the corner has an old clunky computer set up and seems to be completely free of clutter. ]
So what kind of extra you looking for. Something to make you far away? Something to pick you up? Something to make you see some fucking funny shit?
[Having never been inside his room before, it’s actually a bit of a culture shock. She isn’t expecting the different colors—it feels like being in some kind of small, private club. Hands wringing, she admits:]
Oh, I don’t really know…I’ve only ever tried frenzy before. I did like it.
[ He says with a laugh. And for a second he can't stop laughing. The thought of Belladonna on Frenzy of all things is a hilarious mental image. But then again, who is he to judge? If that's her living her best life, then all the power to her. ]
You went hardcore straight out the gate. I got Frenzy if you really want it.
[ And it's part of the cocktail pumping through his system right now. But as he opens up a drawer, he finds something he thinks will suit her better. A couple colorful pills with smiley faces etched onto them. ]
But if you want happiness, let me prescribe you some Molly. These babies are going to make you see the world and all its colors. They'll blot out everything bad and leave you only with good.
[ Tech disappears to head into the bathroom and fill up a glass of water before returning to offer it her way. ]
[Belladonna's face flushes when he laughs, though it's not necessarily as telling under the strobe of changing colors. She decides not to mention that she was more-or-less pressured into it, and tucks her hair behind her ears as Tech makes his recommendation. There's a distinct sense of relief she feels at being able to swallow a pill over other forms of induction.]
I'm a little nervous...
[But even with the admission she accepts the water and the little pills. They're kind of cute, actually. Well, down the hatch! She doesn't want to give herself the chance to overthink and change her mind. Placing them in her mouth and swallowing, Belladonna holds onto her glass like its a support beam, taking a deep breath once the water has made it down her throat.]
How, um, how long does it take? Should I...should I sit somewhere?
[ Tech takes her by the hand and leads her to the bed. ]
Sit. Lie back. When it starts hitting, you'll know. It'll feel warm and wonderful. Probably in fifteen minutes at most?
[ He moves toward his speakers, shuffling through his playlist in order to find something a little more mellow -- something with a beat, but still tame. Something to enhance her experience. And then Tech falls back onto the mattress beside her. ]
Breathe in nice and slow. You have nothing to worry about. You're with me, and I'm not gonna let anything happen.
[ Which might have been a more reassuring promise if he wasn't high himself. Though, Tech's system unfortunately does metabolize drugs quick. Too quick, at times. But if he refrains from taking anything right now, he should hit a moderate state of sobriety in a half hour. In the meantime, his hand extends before him, rotating fluidly at the wrist as though conducting an unseen melody. ]
So I got this friend I wanted to hook you up with, by the way.
[Sobriety or not, Belladonna can't imagine not trusting Tech. He is a god, after all--her god, she'd decided. How could she ever question him in something he clearly knows so much about? Nodding as she lets him guide her, she lays down on his bed and watches the colors wash over the ceiling. The music change does make her feel a little bit more relaxed, and she supposes she shouldn't really be so nervous at all. Still, while waiting for the molly to blossom inside of her stomach, her fingers twist one another where they rest on her stomach.]
You do? Who is it?
[It's hard for her to imagine herself hooking up with anyone, but that doesn't mean she won't at least hear his thoughts on the matter. And, of course, she's always happy to make more friends. Right now, she kind of needs them.]
His name's Wuxian. He was my roommate when I first got to Penance. We hooked up a couple times in the past, so I can vouch for him. He knows what he's doing. Bet he could especially use a friend after being married off to fucking Mammon for a while.
[ He laughs. Really, the people who participated in that beauty contest got the worst end of the deal in Hellburbia. Tech's glad that no matter how that place altered him, it didn't alter him enough that he'd ever think entering some beauty competition would be a good idea. ]
When Monika and I broke up, a lot of what got me through was hooking up with other people. And through all that, I met Ava. Maybe it's not the best way to do things, but who knows. Maybe you can meet someone who can help you move forward?
[ That's odd. The last time he talked to Wuxian about this very subject, they hadn't met. Unless. Unless... ]
Oh. You knew each other in Hellburbia, didn't you?
[ Because why else would she be so vehement about it? While they're not related, it still feels like they are. A feeling that's been hard for him to shake when it comes to his fake parents and brother. ]
Well. Fuck hell. I mean, I had this brother in my second life that I could try and fix you up with, but he was kinda by the books. And I feel like you need something exciting. Someone who can draw you out and show you something fun.
[ He pauses to think of a viable solution. His high mind simply comes up with this: ]
[Kind of a boner-killer, having all these false memories of raising him, the feelings seeming so real and potent. That, and she's not really into the whole Oedipus Complex thing.]
That wouldn't upset her, would it? I don't want to cause you any problems.
[And should she be more concerned about if that's weird or not? Honestly, Belladonna has no idea what the decorum is in this situation, and she's starting to feel a bit floaty.]
Nah. She's cool. She's not gonna stab you or me or anything.
[ A weird thing to say, maybe. Though considering his dating history....maybe not so weird. Ava only crucified him once, though, so it's going pretty well all things considered. He sits up to free his phone and shoot a text Ava's way. ]
You're not causing any problems, so you just sit back and give yourself over to the feelings.
[ He looks up from his phone with a slow smile. ]
Feeling it now, huh?
[ And then back to his phone. ]
Pretty weird how none of us thought anything about having kids or moms who were like the same age as us. That was some fucking good brainwashing.
[Figuring he's the expert anyway, it's even easier to give no further thought to the matter, being sure that Tech knows exactly what he's talking about. As her thoughts begin to lose their harder edges, she smiles. It's been awhile since she felt so warm--looked so much like sunshine. If it weren't for the dilation of her pupils, Belladonna would look like she's been cured.]
My other son was even older than me. Probably twice my age, even.
[It feels kind of silly now, really, doesn't it? She laughs, and she's sure that her laughter rising above her like expanding, colorful bubbles.]
[ He says like it's the most novel thing in the world. Belladonna wanting to be a mother. As though it's not the wish of many women. Especially women who come from a backwater place like her. But he scoots closer, tucking his arm around her back. ]
Well you got a taste at playing house at least. And if birthing some gnarled demon baby is on your agenda, I think it might be possible here. You could be a real mother.
[ He laughs, snuggling into her -- nose brushing against the hollow of her neck. His voice drops, a quiet whisper free and airy against her skin. ]
If you listen closely, you can hear the colors every time they shift, you know.
[ There's an odd sort of allure about the way she whispers of this chaos. And he's there for the journey with her, wanting to see her bring as much chaos to Penance as possible. It would be even more brilliant coming from her because no one would suspect it. What a beautiful little agent of chaos. ]
It's amazing, isn't it? How much of the world we don't even begin to see until you unlock your mind. In my world, we could go between the world, travel the backstage we called it. It was a path only gods could take, full of colors and wonder and magic. I always thought it was pretentious, but. I'd show you...
[ His index finger wanders along her jawline, caressing the curve of her chin. ]
Then you could hear the colors in the sky and know what lies beyond the grasp of ordinary people.
[ His hand draws back and he turns his attention to his phone. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I’m doing so, she feels herself weakening. But maybe being weak right now is what she needs. As her hair and her skirt settles from the movement she asks on an I’ll-advised impulse:]
Do you have anything extra I could try?
no subject
[ He laughs. It's not helpful. Getting high doesn't make the problems go away, but it does make them disappear for a little while. And he's not going to argue with Belladonna and advocate sobriety. Fuck sobriety. She needs to let loose.
Tech finally pushes the door to his room open and leads the way inside. LED lights are on a colorized scheme, shifting every few seconds to melt into a new hue. His room is far messier than he tends to keep it, bed unmade, clothes strewn around. Although the corner has an old clunky computer set up and seems to be completely free of clutter. ]
So what kind of extra you looking for. Something to make you far away? Something to pick you up? Something to make you see some fucking funny shit?
no subject
Oh, I don’t really know…I’ve only ever tried frenzy before. I did like it.
[Belladonna pauses, thinking.]
I just want to feel happy.
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[ He says with a laugh. And for a second he can't stop laughing. The thought of Belladonna on Frenzy of all things is a hilarious mental image. But then again, who is he to judge? If that's her living her best life, then all the power to her. ]
You went hardcore straight out the gate. I got Frenzy if you really want it.
[ And it's part of the cocktail pumping through his system right now. But as he opens up a drawer, he finds something he thinks will suit her better. A couple colorful pills with smiley faces etched onto them. ]
But if you want happiness, let me prescribe you some Molly. These babies are going to make you see the world and all its colors. They'll blot out everything bad and leave you only with good.
[ Tech disappears to head into the bathroom and fill up a glass of water before returning to offer it her way. ]
Enjoy the ride.
no subject
I'm a little nervous...
[But even with the admission she accepts the water and the little pills. They're kind of cute, actually. Well, down the hatch! She doesn't want to give herself the chance to overthink and change her mind. Placing them in her mouth and swallowing, Belladonna holds onto her glass like its a support beam, taking a deep breath once the water has made it down her throat.]
How, um, how long does it take? Should I...should I sit somewhere?
no subject
Sit. Lie back. When it starts hitting, you'll know. It'll feel warm and wonderful. Probably in fifteen minutes at most?
[ He moves toward his speakers, shuffling through his playlist in order to find something a little more mellow -- something with a beat, but still tame. Something to enhance her experience. And then Tech falls back onto the mattress beside her. ]
Breathe in nice and slow. You have nothing to worry about. You're with me, and I'm not gonna let anything happen.
[ Which might have been a more reassuring promise if he wasn't high himself. Though, Tech's system unfortunately does metabolize drugs quick. Too quick, at times. But if he refrains from taking anything right now, he should hit a moderate state of sobriety in a half hour. In the meantime, his hand extends before him, rotating fluidly at the wrist as though conducting an unseen melody. ]
So I got this friend I wanted to hook you up with, by the way.
no subject
You do? Who is it?
[It's hard for her to imagine herself hooking up with anyone, but that doesn't mean she won't at least hear his thoughts on the matter. And, of course, she's always happy to make more friends. Right now, she kind of needs them.]
no subject
[ He laughs. Really, the people who participated in that beauty contest got the worst end of the deal in Hellburbia. Tech's glad that no matter how that place altered him, it didn't alter him enough that he'd ever think entering some beauty competition would be a good idea. ]
When Monika and I broke up, a lot of what got me through was hooking up with other people. And through all that, I met Ava. Maybe it's not the best way to do things, but who knows. Maybe you can meet someone who can help you move forward?
no subject
Oh, no. I don’t think I could do that. I mean, not with him.
[As he talks about his new flame, though, she shifts slightly to look over at him.]
I’m glad you found someone who makes you so happy.
no subject
[ That's odd. The last time he talked to Wuxian about this very subject, they hadn't met. Unless. Unless... ]
Oh. You knew each other in Hellburbia, didn't you?
[ Because why else would she be so vehement about it? While they're not related, it still feels like they are. A feeling that's been hard for him to shake when it comes to his fake parents and brother. ]
Well. Fuck hell. I mean, I had this brother in my second life that I could try and fix you up with, but he was kinda by the books. And I feel like you need something exciting. Someone who can draw you out and show you something fun.
[ He pauses to think of a viable solution. His high mind simply comes up with this: ]
You wanna makeout with Ava? I can call her over.
[ Because man would that be sexy..... ]
no subject
[Kind of a boner-killer, having all these false memories of raising him, the feelings seeming so real and potent. That, and she's not really into the whole Oedipus Complex thing.]
That wouldn't upset her, would it? I don't want to cause you any problems.
[And should she be more concerned about if that's weird or not? Honestly, Belladonna has no idea what the decorum is in this situation, and she's starting to feel a bit floaty.]
no subject
[ A weird thing to say, maybe. Though considering his dating history....maybe not so weird. Ava only crucified him once, though, so it's going pretty well all things considered. He sits up to free his phone and shoot a text Ava's way. ]
You're not causing any problems, so you just sit back and give yourself over to the feelings.
[ He looks up from his phone with a slow smile. ]
Feeling it now, huh?
[ And then back to his phone. ]
Pretty weird how none of us thought anything about having kids or moms who were like the same age as us. That was some fucking good brainwashing.
no subject
My other son was even older than me. Probably twice my age, even.
[It feels kind of silly now, really, doesn't it? She laughs, and she's sure that her laughter rising above her like expanding, colorful bubbles.]
I've always wanted to be a mother, you know.
no subject
[ He says like it's the most novel thing in the world. Belladonna wanting to be a mother. As though it's not the wish of many women. Especially women who come from a backwater place like her. But he scoots closer, tucking his arm around her back. ]
Well you got a taste at playing house at least. And if birthing some gnarled demon baby is on your agenda, I think it might be possible here. You could be a real mother.
[ He laughs, snuggling into her -- nose brushing against the hollow of her neck. His voice drops, a quiet whisper free and airy against her skin. ]
If you listen closely, you can hear the colors every time they shift, you know.
no subject
A beautiful demon baby who would cause so much chaos…
[When she closes her eyes she can still see the colors. Belladonna smiles as musical notes drift into her ears.]
You’re right…I can hear them! Each one is different from the other—oh, what a beautiful song.
no subject
It's amazing, isn't it? How much of the world we don't even begin to see until you unlock your mind. In my world, we could go between the world, travel the backstage we called it. It was a path only gods could take, full of colors and wonder and magic. I always thought it was pretentious, but. I'd show you...
[ His index finger wanders along her jawline, caressing the curve of her chin. ]
Then you could hear the colors in the sky and know what lies beyond the grasp of ordinary people.
[ His hand draws back and he turns his attention to his phone. ]
Ava's gonna come. Ha. That's what she said.