Tech spends more time than he would care to admit fussing with his hair. The suit is perfectly tailored as expected, but he's not sure whether to leave his hair loose and casual or comb it into place with gel. The latter would be more formal, but the former? Well...it would be easier if K wanted to, perhaps, comb fingers through his hair. Maybe it was too forward of a thought. After all, they only agreed on a dance. But all Tech could think about is what happens after the dance, after they've allowed themselves the closeness. There's already been an invisible force causing them to gravitate toward one another and if K wants to run his hands through Tech's hair in the aftermath...well, who is Tech to deny him that?
He leaves his hair gel free, fluffing it with his fingers to give that 'I give no fucks' vibe when he spent far too long giving too many fucks before he heads on his way. Tech arrives at the agreed upon restaurant a few minutes early, even with all of his fussing because it's physically painful to be anything other than prompt. Even so, it seems K's early is even earlier than Tech's early. It's impossible not to notice K immediately among the crowd. K is a vision, beautiful in his chosen attire. The soft, ambient lighting illuminates the velvet of his suit jacket, inviting touch. It's impressive how K can take human designed clothing and somehow elevate them.
Tech has to smile, a tiny bit shy as it dawns on him. They really are on a date. K dressed this way for him, he got here early for him. And considering this is his very first proper date, his heart flutters like butterfly wings beating against his rib cage. No one has ever gone to this amount of effort for him before. The only thing even remotely close had been the forced dances and formal events hell would throw, and no one really had a choice in attending. Now, he and K are both here because they want to be and there's something beautiful about that -- that either of them have this choice and chose one another.
Even though Tech could have walked over there perfectly fine by himself, the waitstaff leads him to their chosen table and Tech stands there for a breath of a moment, soaking in the ambience and K himself.
"Hi," he finally says, fingers wrapping around the back of the chair. That was a stupid, not very eloquent greeting. What he wouldn't give to have some of the charm of some of his previous incarnations. "You look...wow. Not that you don't normally, but."
The hole seems to be digging itself even deeper. He moistens his lips.
"I should probably just sit, right? Sit down and shut up..." He says with a little laugh.
Upon noticing Tech's approach, it's a learned sense of etiquette rather than programming that has K politely standing in anticipation of pulling out his date's chair for him. Maybe a bit of an old-fashioned gesture, but the android enjoys many such dated practises when it comes to romance. It's one that Tech must not be expecting, with the way he holds the back of his own chair like that. Tech is... awkward, endearingly so, and something about it strikes K as so achingly familiar — far from the first time when it comes to the technology god — that for a long moment, all he can do is stare in a sort of dumbstruck silence. Unable to shake the feeling that they've shared this moment before. Is this another one of Thirteen's tricks?
A slight tilt of his head and warm smile pulling at the corners of his mouth transform his staring into something softer, more inviting, and he wears an open look of admiration as he takes in Tech's appearance. The perfect fit of the suit (expected, but nonetheless very pleasing), the almost unstyled look to his hair that speaks to intimacy rather than carelessness. It brings to mind bedhead and one of the possible causes of it for a being who doesn't actually sleep, and between those thoughts and the way Tech's also looking at him, he can feel heat rising to his face.
"Thank you. You also look wow," K repeats in a playful tone as his smile grows. "You're very handsome in your birthday suit." As in the suit he was given for his 'birthday'. It's a groan-worthy double entendre and K knows it; just some levity to hopefully put Tech more at ease. They may be on a date, but that doesn't mean they have to be completely formal with each other.
"Let me," he adds with a gesture to Tech's chair and moves to pull it out for him, helping him get seated before returning to his own. Their waiter unobtrusively leaves a pair of menus for them — naturally lacking any listed prices, further reinforcing the pretentious air of luxury.
And only if that means you'll be talking to me like this, is shared through their connection in response to the suggestion of shutting up.
"I'm glad you agreed to this. It's funny, I feel like—" His brow furrows slightly as he tries to put it into words. Words that hopefully won't come across as intense as the feeling is, because he really doesn't want to scare Tech off. "I've often felt it with you," he admits. "This sense of... being where I'm meant to be."
Tech ducks his head, a smile of equal parts amusement and embarrassment edging his lips when K parrots his words back at him. "You sure use a lot of innuendo..."
For a being who isn't inherently sexual... he finishes through the connection. There's no judgement in either the verbally spoken start or the internalized finish, though. If anything, Tech is curious. He knew K was built with the capacity for sex. Everything was functional. But was that a design made more for human enjoyment, denying K the enjoyment himself? It was something Tech never asked, something he thought was kind of a personal question. And he certainly never wanted to come across as soliciting something K didn't necessarily want. But K continues to make a choice with playful innuendo, so maybe he's hinting at something?
Or maybe he's just being funny. Either way, Tech laughs and steps back as K takes over the chair, gesturing him in a by all means kind of way. He settles, trying to fill the entire moment with confidence -- like having his chair pulled out and tucked in by someone else is an entirely natural thing. The slight tinge of pink betrays it, though. For being a god, he's not used to being given the five star treatment. Sure, he could get his way into any VIP section at a club or flaunt his money or gadgets for some attention. Businesses might butter him up to try and stay on his good side. But no one has earnestly gone to this much effort. No one has treated him like a being worthy of those romantic gestures that are archaic in many ways, but still very much appreciated. Admittedly, though, maybe that's because he didn't let them. Tech always tried to control the pace, always tried to be the deliverer of the romance and not so much the recipient. For a few beats of his heart, he looks down at the table to collect himself again. And once K is across from him, his eyes slowly lift to take in the full picture.
As K voices his thoughts, Tech hangs on the edge of his words. Being where I'm meant to be. It could be as simple as the pull between technology and a tech god. But there's a weight to K's sentiment, a gravity. One that surprisingly doesn't pull Tech down with it because they echo something within him. Something that's always existed as far as K is concerned. Tech has often thought K is the exact sort of person he wishes he could have met sooner during his journey with emotions. K could have helped him through it. And through meeting K, he would have been far better off. Happy. He imagines had fate been so kind to let him meet K before any of his past lovers, they both could have had the life they wanted -- neither of them having to play human, so to speak.
Tech reaches out to collect K's hand, holding fingers within his own and looking down at them for a moment. There's little that can be done to change the past. No matter the amounts of wishing for what could have been, Tech can't turn that into a reality. Instead, they have this moment. This one night to set the pace for the rest of whatever journey they have ahead. And Tech chooses to hold nothing back, to be open and earnest.
"I know what you mean. Being with you feels right. Like something that was missing is made whole."
Edited (Just wanted to add a couple sentences, lol) 2023-08-26 13:27 (UTC)
Bringing attention to his usage of innuendo without reciprocating the flirting makes K wonder if he made a misstep with his humour, possibly misread the situation or Tech's interest. Maybe he just came on too strong. Could be he's barking up the wrong tree entirely, if Tech's sexual interests only extend to other gods and humans. Feeling a bit embarrassed and even more uncertain, K's expression falters into a look of contriteness.
"I apologise if I made you uncomfortable. I guess that was a bit much to open with, wasn't it," he says with an apologetic smile. Was it really too much, though? He isn't sure.
Maybe this was intended as more of a platonic date between friends, to Tech? K doesn't think he's misread things quite that badly, even if he does worry he's made a fool of himself by being too presumptuous, but maybe better to err on the side of caution either way. Take it easy with the innuendo and flirting in case it isn't wanted, keep things classy while trying to get a better feel for what Tech does want with him. He can do that.
Fortunately his honesty doesn't go awry, to his immense relief. And it is reciprocated, giving him hope that his prior blunder maybe wasn't as disastrous as he's thinking. Knowing Tech feels the same way helps to ease his own nerves somewhat, enabling him to regain some of his emotional footing as he gently squeezes Tech's hand, glad to have the physical connection right now.
"Makes me wonder if it means something, both of us feeling that way." His eyes drift from Tech's face to their hands, his smile becoming wistful. "I assume you're not planning to stay in this world. I don't think anyone but those of us in the 'already dead or destined to die' club are, probably. So I know... all of this, it may only be temporary. " And that, too, is strangely familiar: a sense of inevitable loss associated with Tech. This is where K feels he's meant to be, but that doesn't mean any of this is necessarily his to keep. "But regardless of what the future holds, the impact you've already had on me and my life has changed me for the better. I'll always be grateful to have had the chance to know you."
Tech has to blink a couple of times to keep the swell of tears from forming in his eyes after K's confession. It both crushes his soul to hear of K's ultimate demise and means the world to know Tech's presence in K's life could bring anything positive. For a moment, his throat is tight. He can't speak and simply squeezes K's hand to drum up some strength and perhaps offer some comfort, even if K's not necessarily asking for it. He's being earnest. He's being open. And he's not asking for anything in return. But he has every right to ask. K is allowed to be selfish, to express his wants, to have desires.
When Tech finds his voice, it's thin and quiet, but reassuring. "Thirteen willing, I don't intend on going anywhere. Not for a long time to come. At the beginning of my time here there was nothing more I wanted to do other than leave and fulfill the promises I made in another place. But I've encountered a lot of reasons to stay..."
He squeezes K's hand again, this time as a gentle way of pointing out K is one of those reasons he would stick around.
"And even if that changes, if I can get access to power the way I had it at my disposal back home, I can conceivably be in multiple places at once. There's a piece of me that could stay in this world, a piece of me that could be yours. If you'd even want that..." Tech laughs softly. Obviously this is their first date. They're still feeling each other out. But it's always felt like a puzzle piece with K -- like they could slot easily into place together. They were made to complete the other, after all.
Chewing on his bottom lip, he shakes his head softly. "You don't have to tone down the innuendo, by the way. I like it. You don't have to tone down anything about who you are with me. The only thing I wasn't sure about is if you were just joking or if there was a degree of seriousness to it. Which isn't a you thing, by the way. All of my intimate relationships have had clumsy beginnings. And let's see if you can name the common denominator..." There's a soft, self-deprecating laugh as he makes a small gesture toward himself.
The silence in the wake of Tech's offer is one of awed surprise. It's hard to even wrap his head around the offer being meant for him. There's a much higher likelihood, he thinks, that it's a decision that was already in the works — perhaps for Tech's partners' sakes, if one intended to stay in Folkmore while the other didn't — and K could just benefit from it too. But the way Tech says it, a piece of me that could be yours, seems to imply... maybe something else, something more. Or is that wishful thinking...?
There's been so little in his life that's truly his own; not his body, not his freedom, perhaps not even his relationships. He'd had to share Joi with the stranger she invited into their bed, a choice so at odds with K's own desires that he's struggled to come to terms with how misunderstood and used it had made him feel. Jayce has multiple other partners with whom he shares an extensive history, and oftentimes K feels like an outsider existing on the periphery, a kind of loneliness he's come to accept as an inherent part of polyamory. It isn't anyone's fault that deep down, in his heart of hearts, a part of him yearns to metaphorically belong to someone whom he could also call his own. Belonging to each other. But his lived experience, limited though it is, leads him to believe he couldn't ever be enough, and it wouldn't be fair asking anyone to settle for less than what they need in a relationship.
And as it so happens, he's intimately familiar with quantum theory and mechanics and has a good idea of what Tech means by 'a piece' of him, so he doesn't ask for clarification on the specifics just yet. Instead...
"Just mine?" His gently teasing tone is complemented with a raised eyebrow and half-smile, but he knows that can't actually be what's being offered. Probably shouldn't even indulge the fantasy. His expression sobers as he takes Tech's hand between both of his, fingertips tracing soothing motions along the underside of Tech's wrist while he speaks.
"I want that. I'm glad you want to stay. Maybe Thirteen will even let us... And it's not just joking, for what it's worth. I'm not very good at any of this, either. Not what I was designed for," he adds dryly, and his thoughts return to what Tech said before, and the curiosity he'd sensed behind the statement. For a being who isn't inherently sexual. That isn't wrong. Nor, unfortunately, is Tech's conjecture. Androids of his type were designed to facilitate human pleasure without much consideration being given toward their own; meant to be used in any manner their owners see fit, regardless of model. Given his own handler's blatant proposition, K knows he's no exception. And while he isn't incapable of experiencing pleasure, he's found that for him, it's far more heavily dependent on emotional elements than the human (and presumably godly) equivalent seems to be. The casual hook-ups Tech has mentioned before would do nothing for him personally, beyond likely leaving him feeling used.
"I wouldn't say these things to you if I didn't mean them on some level, or if I wasn't — interested," he continues after some thought, a very subtle emphasis placed on the last word. "If you're not interested, I'll try to stop making things awkward for us both." Because one-sided flirtation is almost never not awkward for everyone involved, he thinks. His voice softens with fond curiosity. "You're always so careful with me."
There's a smile that appears after K's playful remark of just mine -- a smile that's both amused but also full of possibility. Because truthfully, if Tech could split himself, if he could reach that level of power...then there would be no reason why a part of him couldn't be just K's. But he hesitates to promise it fully, not because he doesn't desire to follow through or has any reluctance. It's more because he's come to know the unpredictable nature of places like this. As much as he wants, as much as he promises -- things aren't in his control. Penance had formulated that narrative and Folkmore has only solidified it.
His eyes drift to their hands as K holds his within both of his own. It's beautiful. This moment right here. It's truly beautiful as K expresses the things he wants. It goes beyond his programming, designation, and design. This is K, deep down in his core, becoming who he wants and expressing what he wants. Tech can only imagine it wasn't long ago back in K's world that he was unable to be open like this. He can imagine the sort of punishment K's kind would face for any perceived deviance. So he can also imagine the level of uncertainty and fear K must also feel, expressing his own desires and worrying they might get dismissed as unimportant or worse...rejected as though K himself is not worthy or acceptable or what he's offering is unappealing.
The awe melts to a smile and Tech finally pries his attention away from their hands to make eye contact and soak in K's sincerity, a sincerity written all over his face.
"I'm interested," he says softly, almost shy. It's strange and new in a way Tech's never experienced. All of his past relationships began in chaos. Since most of them started in hell, it made sense. But here he is on his very first proper date, having an upfront conversation about what they want even before they've ever had a first kiss. It's different and Tech appreciates the difference. And at K's fond observation, Tech understands all at once why it's different.
"I want more than anything for you to define yourself, to live life the way you choose. I didn't want to be any kind of influence on that...given what I am and what my powers are. If I expressed interest, I guess I worried you might feel obligated to indulge me...and that's not the kind of god I want to be. It was one I tried to be at points, lording my power over other gods and humanity alike...but things change. I've changed. And it means...fuck. It means more than words can express that you chose me, not out of a sense of duty but because this is something you want. I'm not sure you understand how remarkable you are and how much your emotions and desires matter."
And that's not only to Tech. K's feelings are important because they're important. Period. Full stop. So Tech hopes K will always feel comfortable expressing them -- that he won't feel he has to hide himself away for the comfort of others. And if Tech can bring nothing else to this relationship-to-be, he hopes it's a safe space for K to fully and truly be himself.
"You've had me feeling so many different ways since we met, but never obligated. Not when helping with Baphomet's ordeal, not with the blackouts... And I don't feel that way now, with this. I do want this. I want you. And if you ever do try to exert your will over me, I might even surprise you." The latter's meant as reassurance just as much as teasing. All of this is happening because he wants it. And though K isn't sure anyone has that much freedom in this world, to truly live as they choose to, he appreciates the sentiment all the same. Tech's feelings are what matter to him. "The influence you have had has helped me to reach this point," he says, emphatic, and the look he's giving Tech is full of meaning that's echoed by his words. "We chose each other."
They both want this. Even though they have yet to really define what this even is, or what they could become to each other — the possibilities are stretching out before them, full of promise and more than anything K could have hoped for. All of it carries that overriding sense of this being how it's meant to be.
But this time, his fantasies are at least tempered by reality and the knowledge that Tech's other relationships might influence the course theirs is allowed to take, since up to this point that's been his understanding of how polyamory works. As a former slave whose past life was wholly dictated and controlled by his owner, restrictions like that might bother him more if he thought he had any sort of real, viable future to offer anyone to begin with. But how much longer will Thirteen allow him to stay, realistically? Months, maybe another year if he's lucky? There's been enough evidence to suggest that 'reach your full potential' spiel isn't remotely true and never was, so perhaps it's better to just enjoy what he's been allowed, from one moment to the next, without letting himself get tangled up in hoping for a future he can't have. And yet...
As their waiter is approaching to take their orders, experiencing pretentious cuisine is the last thing on his mind. He can't help dreaming about all of those impossible futures together, along with the ones they just might get.
***
The next time K takes Tech's hand in his, he slips his other hand around to Tech's lower back while gently pulling him into that promised dance. He's positioned himself to lead for the start, but Tech won't face resistance should he want to switch things up. He might receive some more innuendo, though.
"Just move with me," he offers by way of advice, and for the moment leaves enough space between them to permit Tech a clear view of their feet in case he feels the need to watch them. He isn't sure how out of practise the god may be, and this is supposed to be fun, so whatever helps him feel more comfortable is fine by K. Soon he's guiding their dance not only through their joined hands, but with light pressure applied to Tech's lower back helping to indicate when and where to move. The live music complements the slow rhythm of movement they're establishing.
"We can get into the fancy stuff later," he says with a hopeful smile, "if this is going to become a more regular occurrence."
We chose each other, K had said earlier in the evening. Which is exactly why Tech makes a choice to not let his self-consciousness stop him from getting up from their seat where others could see them. Yeah, Tech Boy loved night clubs. He'd spend from sunset to nearly sunrise in the throes of heavy electronica bass beats, gyrating with the mass of bodies to the pulsing strobe lights. But there's a dramatic difference between moving with a crowd as opposed to being in someone's arms, dancing to quiet music while there were no moments of darkness to hide the missteps.
But fuck it, right? Let others look. Let them notice. What would they really see, anyway? Two beings sharing an intimate connection? Two people having a good time?
....two people falling in love?
With K's hand around his back, Tech finds his eyes focused on their interconnected hands -- his other hand finding its way to K's shoulders. His gaze lifts to the soft edge of K's jawline and his mind races through many thoughts in rapid succession. Most of those thoughts land on the realization that this is something he's wanted for a long while. He and K have touched many times, but all of those touches have been a tease. A build up to something both of them have been cautious about. And now, all of that time being cautious seems stupid. Time wasted. One of them could be gone tomorrow and they never would have known this.
Tech allows K the lead without protest because his mind isn't so much on the dance. And he does fine regardless, falling into rhythm because when they're together...they just can't help but synchronize in more ways than one. He and K were always meant to be like this. The chatter fades to nothing. Even the music dwindles. Because as Tech's eyes lift from K's jaw to his lips, all else disappears. He wants to meet K's eyes, wants to see the warmth reflected in them -- yet he's magnetized to the soft curve of K's mouth.
Fingers tighten around the well-fitted back of K's suit and Tech impulsively follows his heart. The distance between them is closed. Lips meet lips and all at once, the music seems to swell. Not the external music, of course...but this internal one -- the song he and K have been writing ever since their first meeting, a song that had been building to this magnificent crescendo. Finally, Tech's entire body seems to sigh against K's with great relief. Nothing is being held back any longer.
Tech follows his heart and K is there to meet him, without hesitation or reserve, willing to give himself over just as fully to the moment. Their moment. How something can feel like coming home and like a seismic discovery at the same time is just another facet of the mystery infusing their relationship, joining that thread of aching familiarity that's woven through everything they've shared together since they met... That night has always felt like so much more to him — more than a first meeting, and more than happenstance, even if he can't quite explain how or why that is. And maybe there's something in Tech that's felt it, too.
The pressure of his hand against Tech's back falls away and he reaches to touch Tech's face, fingertips tracing the line of his jaw in a light caress as his lips part in silent invitation, seeking to deepen the kiss. Even if only for a few moments; a promise that can be fulfilled and expanded on later, hopefully, without an audience. Part of him remains conscious enough of their surroundings to refrain from pressing his thigh between Tech's legs the way the rest of him wants to, but it's a near thing. And one that, in light of their earlier conversation, he decides ought to be shared.
Having such a subtle means of communication available to them is certainly useful in moments like this, and K takes full advantage of it to let Tech in on his thoughts through their connection. It's accompanied by a wordless sensation that amounts to a very distinct took you long enough feeling, full of warm mirth. With this welcome (and long overdue, they're in agreement there) shift in their relationship, he intends to kiss Tech as much as he wants to from now on, and enjoy wherever it may lead them — together.
K is so incredibly warm. Tech needs to be careful here because with the way the world slips away into K's kiss, it would be far too easy to forget where they are and to let the kiss bring them as close as two beings could possibly be. Even so, he indulges the parted lips to taste the other with both curiosity and want -- eager and seeking. This is how they've always been, seeking one another...touching one another. K's little teasing thought about it taking long enough causes a small rumble of laughter in Tech's throat, but he doesn't break the kiss for it. K's right, isn't he? If given half the chance, this is probably where their whole first meeting would have gone. If Tech allowed himself to give in to his feelings -- if he hadn't been so worried about overstepping boundaries. And especially if he hadn't feared K wouldn't like him for reasons that went beyond technology being drawn to its god.
In spite of being a god, though, Tech hasn't felt very much like one for the few years he's spent removed from his world. Penance had a way of making him feel powerless. Folkmore reinforced that. If a god could be trapped by other gods or god-like deities, then did they really have any claim to such a title? He was tired of answering to other gods in other worlds. He just wanted to live his own life. And that is where he and K connect the most. K, too, just wanted to live. They wanted to find freedom. And in each others arms, this feels like true freedom. A proverbial fuck you to the worlds that made and unmade them.
Tech chooses to respond to K verbally, drawing back inches so they're only a breath away from returning to the kiss -- amusement glinting within his eyes. "I think maybe it's time for us to pay the check. Unless you wanna dine and dash?" Fingertips crawl their way to 'fix' K's tie. Really, it's just an excuse to touch. "Maybe we can take the evening back to your place?"
Tech would offer his, but there is a chance Kate might be there. And while he certainly doesn't mind introducing the two of them if they hadn't yet met, Tech would prefer to keep the evening about only the two of them. No one else. No unexpected guests. No conversations with anyone else. Just the two of them, figuring out this new relationship together.
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It's perfect! <3
He leaves his hair gel free, fluffing it with his fingers to give that 'I give no fucks' vibe when he spent far too long giving too many fucks before he heads on his way. Tech arrives at the agreed upon restaurant a few minutes early, even with all of his fussing because it's physically painful to be anything other than prompt. Even so, it seems K's early is even earlier than Tech's early. It's impossible not to notice K immediately among the crowd. K is a vision, beautiful in his chosen attire. The soft, ambient lighting illuminates the velvet of his suit jacket, inviting touch. It's impressive how K can take human designed clothing and somehow elevate them.
Tech has to smile, a tiny bit shy as it dawns on him. They really are on a date. K dressed this way for him, he got here early for him. And considering this is his very first proper date, his heart flutters like butterfly wings beating against his rib cage. No one has ever gone to this amount of effort for him before. The only thing even remotely close had been the forced dances and formal events hell would throw, and no one really had a choice in attending. Now, he and K are both here because they want to be and there's something beautiful about that -- that either of them have this choice and chose one another.
Even though Tech could have walked over there perfectly fine by himself, the waitstaff leads him to their chosen table and Tech stands there for a breath of a moment, soaking in the ambience and K himself.
"Hi," he finally says, fingers wrapping around the back of the chair. That was a stupid, not very eloquent greeting. What he wouldn't give to have some of the charm of some of his previous incarnations. "You look...wow. Not that you don't normally, but."
The hole seems to be digging itself even deeper. He moistens his lips.
"I should probably just sit, right? Sit down and shut up..." He says with a little laugh.
<333
A slight tilt of his head and warm smile pulling at the corners of his mouth transform his staring into something softer, more inviting, and he wears an open look of admiration as he takes in Tech's appearance. The perfect fit of the suit (expected, but nonetheless very pleasing), the almost unstyled look to his hair that speaks to intimacy rather than carelessness. It brings to mind bedhead and one of the possible causes of it for a being who doesn't actually sleep, and between those thoughts and the way Tech's also looking at him, he can feel heat rising to his face.
"Thank you. You also look wow," K repeats in a playful tone as his smile grows. "You're very handsome in your birthday suit." As in the suit he was given for his 'birthday'. It's a groan-worthy double entendre and K knows it; just some levity to hopefully put Tech more at ease. They may be on a date, but that doesn't mean they have to be completely formal with each other.
"Let me," he adds with a gesture to Tech's chair and moves to pull it out for him, helping him get seated before returning to his own. Their waiter unobtrusively leaves a pair of menus for them — naturally lacking any listed prices, further reinforcing the pretentious air of luxury.
And only if that means you'll be talking to me like this, is shared through their connection in response to the suggestion of shutting up.
"I'm glad you agreed to this. It's funny, I feel like—" His brow furrows slightly as he tries to put it into words. Words that hopefully won't come across as intense as the feeling is, because he really doesn't want to scare Tech off. "I've often felt it with you," he admits. "This sense of... being where I'm meant to be."
no subject
For a being who isn't inherently sexual... he finishes through the connection. There's no judgement in either the verbally spoken start or the internalized finish, though. If anything, Tech is curious. He knew K was built with the capacity for sex. Everything was functional. But was that a design made more for human enjoyment, denying K the enjoyment himself? It was something Tech never asked, something he thought was kind of a personal question. And he certainly never wanted to come across as soliciting something K didn't necessarily want. But K continues to make a choice with playful innuendo, so maybe he's hinting at something?
Or maybe he's just being funny. Either way, Tech laughs and steps back as K takes over the chair, gesturing him in a by all means kind of way. He settles, trying to fill the entire moment with confidence -- like having his chair pulled out and tucked in by someone else is an entirely natural thing. The slight tinge of pink betrays it, though. For being a god, he's not used to being given the five star treatment. Sure, he could get his way into any VIP section at a club or flaunt his money or gadgets for some attention. Businesses might butter him up to try and stay on his good side. But no one has earnestly gone to this much effort. No one has treated him like a being worthy of those romantic gestures that are archaic in many ways, but still very much appreciated. Admittedly, though, maybe that's because he didn't let them. Tech always tried to control the pace, always tried to be the deliverer of the romance and not so much the recipient. For a few beats of his heart, he looks down at the table to collect himself again. And once K is across from him, his eyes slowly lift to take in the full picture.
As K voices his thoughts, Tech hangs on the edge of his words. Being where I'm meant to be. It could be as simple as the pull between technology and a tech god. But there's a weight to K's sentiment, a gravity. One that surprisingly doesn't pull Tech down with it because they echo something within him. Something that's always existed as far as K is concerned. Tech has often thought K is the exact sort of person he wishes he could have met sooner during his journey with emotions. K could have helped him through it. And through meeting K, he would have been far better off. Happy. He imagines had fate been so kind to let him meet K before any of his past lovers, they both could have had the life they wanted -- neither of them having to play human, so to speak.
Tech reaches out to collect K's hand, holding fingers within his own and looking down at them for a moment. There's little that can be done to change the past. No matter the amounts of wishing for what could have been, Tech can't turn that into a reality. Instead, they have this moment. This one night to set the pace for the rest of whatever journey they have ahead. And Tech chooses to hold nothing back, to be open and earnest.
"I know what you mean. Being with you feels right. Like something that was missing is made whole."
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"I apologise if I made you uncomfortable. I guess that was a bit much to open with, wasn't it," he says with an apologetic smile. Was it really too much, though? He isn't sure.
Maybe this was intended as more of a platonic date between friends, to Tech? K doesn't think he's misread things quite that badly, even if he does worry he's made a fool of himself by being too presumptuous, but maybe better to err on the side of caution either way. Take it easy with the innuendo and flirting in case it isn't wanted, keep things classy while trying to get a better feel for what Tech does want with him. He can do that.
Fortunately his honesty doesn't go awry, to his immense relief. And it is reciprocated, giving him hope that his prior blunder maybe wasn't as disastrous as he's thinking. Knowing Tech feels the same way helps to ease his own nerves somewhat, enabling him to regain some of his emotional footing as he gently squeezes Tech's hand, glad to have the physical connection right now.
"Makes me wonder if it means something, both of us feeling that way." His eyes drift from Tech's face to their hands, his smile becoming wistful. "I assume you're not planning to stay in this world. I don't think anyone but those of us in the 'already dead or destined to die' club are, probably. So I know... all of this, it may only be temporary. " And that, too, is strangely familiar: a sense of inevitable loss associated with Tech. This is where K feels he's meant to be, but that doesn't mean any of this is necessarily his to keep. "But regardless of what the future holds, the impact you've already had on me and my life has changed me for the better. I'll always be grateful to have had the chance to know you."
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When Tech finds his voice, it's thin and quiet, but reassuring. "Thirteen willing, I don't intend on going anywhere. Not for a long time to come. At the beginning of my time here there was nothing more I wanted to do other than leave and fulfill the promises I made in another place. But I've encountered a lot of reasons to stay..."
He squeezes K's hand again, this time as a gentle way of pointing out K is one of those reasons he would stick around.
"And even if that changes, if I can get access to power the way I had it at my disposal back home, I can conceivably be in multiple places at once. There's a piece of me that could stay in this world, a piece of me that could be yours. If you'd even want that..." Tech laughs softly. Obviously this is their first date. They're still feeling each other out. But it's always felt like a puzzle piece with K -- like they could slot easily into place together. They were made to complete the other, after all.
Chewing on his bottom lip, he shakes his head softly. "You don't have to tone down the innuendo, by the way. I like it. You don't have to tone down anything about who you are with me. The only thing I wasn't sure about is if you were just joking or if there was a degree of seriousness to it. Which isn't a you thing, by the way. All of my intimate relationships have had clumsy beginnings. And let's see if you can name the common denominator..." There's a soft, self-deprecating laugh as he makes a small gesture toward himself.
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There's been so little in his life that's truly his own; not his body, not his freedom, perhaps not even his relationships. He'd had to share Joi with the stranger she invited into their bed, a choice so at odds with K's own desires that he's struggled to come to terms with how misunderstood and used it had made him feel. Jayce has multiple other partners with whom he shares an extensive history, and oftentimes K feels like an outsider existing on the periphery, a kind of loneliness he's come to accept as an inherent part of polyamory. It isn't anyone's fault that deep down, in his heart of hearts, a part of him yearns to metaphorically belong to someone whom he could also call his own. Belonging to each other. But his lived experience, limited though it is, leads him to believe he couldn't ever be enough, and it wouldn't be fair asking anyone to settle for less than what they need in a relationship.
And as it so happens, he's intimately familiar with quantum theory and mechanics and has a good idea of what Tech means by 'a piece' of him, so he doesn't ask for clarification on the specifics just yet. Instead...
"Just mine?" His gently teasing tone is complemented with a raised eyebrow and half-smile, but he knows that can't actually be what's being offered. Probably shouldn't even indulge the fantasy. His expression sobers as he takes Tech's hand between both of his, fingertips tracing soothing motions along the underside of Tech's wrist while he speaks.
"I want that. I'm glad you want to stay. Maybe Thirteen will even let us... And it's not just joking, for what it's worth. I'm not very good at any of this, either. Not what I was designed for," he adds dryly, and his thoughts return to what Tech said before, and the curiosity he'd sensed behind the statement. For a being who isn't inherently sexual. That isn't wrong. Nor, unfortunately, is Tech's conjecture. Androids of his type were designed to facilitate human pleasure without much consideration being given toward their own; meant to be used in any manner their owners see fit, regardless of model. Given his own handler's blatant proposition, K knows he's no exception. And while he isn't incapable of experiencing pleasure, he's found that for him, it's far more heavily dependent on emotional elements than the human (and presumably godly) equivalent seems to be. The casual hook-ups Tech has mentioned before would do nothing for him personally, beyond likely leaving him feeling used.
"I wouldn't say these things to you if I didn't mean them on some level, or if I wasn't — interested," he continues after some thought, a very subtle emphasis placed on the last word. "If you're not interested, I'll try to stop making things awkward for us both." Because one-sided flirtation is almost never not awkward for everyone involved, he thinks. His voice softens with fond curiosity. "You're always so careful with me."
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His eyes drift to their hands as K holds his within both of his own. It's beautiful. This moment right here. It's truly beautiful as K expresses the things he wants. It goes beyond his programming, designation, and design. This is K, deep down in his core, becoming who he wants and expressing what he wants. Tech can only imagine it wasn't long ago back in K's world that he was unable to be open like this. He can imagine the sort of punishment K's kind would face for any perceived deviance. So he can also imagine the level of uncertainty and fear K must also feel, expressing his own desires and worrying they might get dismissed as unimportant or worse...rejected as though K himself is not worthy or acceptable or what he's offering is unappealing.
The awe melts to a smile and Tech finally pries his attention away from their hands to make eye contact and soak in K's sincerity, a sincerity written all over his face.
"I'm interested," he says softly, almost shy. It's strange and new in a way Tech's never experienced. All of his past relationships began in chaos. Since most of them started in hell, it made sense. But here he is on his very first proper date, having an upfront conversation about what they want even before they've ever had a first kiss. It's different and Tech appreciates the difference. And at K's fond observation, Tech understands all at once why it's different.
"I want more than anything for you to define yourself, to live life the way you choose. I didn't want to be any kind of influence on that...given what I am and what my powers are. If I expressed interest, I guess I worried you might feel obligated to indulge me...and that's not the kind of god I want to be. It was one I tried to be at points, lording my power over other gods and humanity alike...but things change. I've changed. And it means...fuck. It means more than words can express that you chose me, not out of a sense of duty but because this is something you want. I'm not sure you understand how remarkable you are and how much your emotions and desires matter."
And that's not only to Tech. K's feelings are important because they're important. Period. Full stop. So Tech hopes K will always feel comfortable expressing them -- that he won't feel he has to hide himself away for the comfort of others. And if Tech can bring nothing else to this relationship-to-be, he hopes it's a safe space for K to fully and truly be himself.
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They both want this. Even though they have yet to really define what this even is, or what they could become to each other — the possibilities are stretching out before them, full of promise and more than anything K could have hoped for. All of it carries that overriding sense of this being how it's meant to be.
But this time, his fantasies are at least tempered by reality and the knowledge that Tech's other relationships might influence the course theirs is allowed to take, since up to this point that's been his understanding of how polyamory works. As a former slave whose past life was wholly dictated and controlled by his owner, restrictions like that might bother him more if he thought he had any sort of real, viable future to offer anyone to begin with. But how much longer will Thirteen allow him to stay, realistically? Months, maybe another year if he's lucky? There's been enough evidence to suggest that 'reach your full potential' spiel isn't remotely true and never was, so perhaps it's better to just enjoy what he's been allowed, from one moment to the next, without letting himself get tangled up in hoping for a future he can't have. And yet...
As their waiter is approaching to take their orders, experiencing pretentious cuisine is the last thing on his mind. He can't help dreaming about all of those impossible futures together, along with the ones they just might get.
***
The next time K takes Tech's hand in his, he slips his other hand around to Tech's lower back while gently pulling him into that promised dance. He's positioned himself to lead for the start, but Tech won't face resistance should he want to switch things up. He might receive some more innuendo, though.
"Just move with me," he offers by way of advice, and for the moment leaves enough space between them to permit Tech a clear view of their feet in case he feels the need to watch them. He isn't sure how out of practise the god may be, and this is supposed to be fun, so whatever helps him feel more comfortable is fine by K. Soon he's guiding their dance not only through their joined hands, but with light pressure applied to Tech's lower back helping to indicate when and where to move. The live music complements the slow rhythm of movement they're establishing.
"We can get into the fancy stuff later," he says with a hopeful smile, "if this is going to become a more regular occurrence."
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But fuck it, right? Let others look. Let them notice. What would they really see, anyway? Two beings sharing an intimate connection? Two people having a good time?
....two people falling in love?
With K's hand around his back, Tech finds his eyes focused on their interconnected hands -- his other hand finding its way to K's shoulders. His gaze lifts to the soft edge of K's jawline and his mind races through many thoughts in rapid succession. Most of those thoughts land on the realization that this is something he's wanted for a long while. He and K have touched many times, but all of those touches have been a tease. A build up to something both of them have been cautious about. And now, all of that time being cautious seems stupid. Time wasted. One of them could be gone tomorrow and they never would have known this.
Tech allows K the lead without protest because his mind isn't so much on the dance. And he does fine regardless, falling into rhythm because when they're together...they just can't help but synchronize in more ways than one. He and K were always meant to be like this. The chatter fades to nothing. Even the music dwindles. Because as Tech's eyes lift from K's jaw to his lips, all else disappears. He wants to meet K's eyes, wants to see the warmth reflected in them -- yet he's magnetized to the soft curve of K's mouth.
Fingers tighten around the well-fitted back of K's suit and Tech impulsively follows his heart. The distance between them is closed. Lips meet lips and all at once, the music seems to swell. Not the external music, of course...but this internal one -- the song he and K have been writing ever since their first meeting, a song that had been building to this magnificent crescendo. Finally, Tech's entire body seems to sigh against K's with great relief. Nothing is being held back any longer.
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The pressure of his hand against Tech's back falls away and he reaches to touch Tech's face, fingertips tracing the line of his jaw in a light caress as his lips part in silent invitation, seeking to deepen the kiss. Even if only for a few moments; a promise that can be fulfilled and expanded on later, hopefully, without an audience. Part of him remains conscious enough of their surroundings to refrain from pressing his thigh between Tech's legs the way the rest of him wants to, but it's a near thing. And one that, in light of their earlier conversation, he decides ought to be shared.
Having such a subtle means of communication available to them is certainly useful in moments like this, and K takes full advantage of it to let Tech in on his thoughts through their connection. It's accompanied by a wordless sensation that amounts to a very distinct took you long enough feeling, full of warm mirth. With this welcome (and long overdue, they're in agreement there) shift in their relationship, he intends to kiss Tech as much as he wants to from now on, and enjoy wherever it may lead them — together.
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In spite of being a god, though, Tech hasn't felt very much like one for the few years he's spent removed from his world. Penance had a way of making him feel powerless. Folkmore reinforced that. If a god could be trapped by other gods or god-like deities, then did they really have any claim to such a title? He was tired of answering to other gods in other worlds. He just wanted to live his own life. And that is where he and K connect the most. K, too, just wanted to live. They wanted to find freedom. And in each others arms, this feels like true freedom. A proverbial fuck you to the worlds that made and unmade them.
Tech chooses to respond to K verbally, drawing back inches so they're only a breath away from returning to the kiss -- amusement glinting within his eyes. "I think maybe it's time for us to pay the check. Unless you wanna dine and dash?" Fingertips crawl their way to 'fix' K's tie. Really, it's just an excuse to touch. "Maybe we can take the evening back to your place?"
Tech would offer his, but there is a chance Kate might be there. And while he certainly doesn't mind introducing the two of them if they hadn't yet met, Tech would prefer to keep the evening about only the two of them. No one else. No unexpected guests. No conversations with anyone else. Just the two of them, figuring out this new relationship together.